First off, Happy New Year family! I am so excited and expecting with open arms the blessings of God this new year! Upon pondering over my life regarding relationships, I’m so thankful for God’s faithfulness. I’ve been badly scarred and wounded by past relationships, as many of you. Albeit, God transforms the soul through a process of pain and suffering, purging and breaking. It is indeed painful, but at the same time liberating, spiritually renewing; and contrarily refreshing. Refreshing because though your soul wounds are deep and far reaching, God’s love is ever reaching down, laying His Sovereign hands on your soul, and healing each one seriatimly.
When I’m cut, I want to heal someone else.
Continue reading “LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”
Beloved, your hurts, wounds, fear, and pain are all hidden behind pride, ego, self-reliance, and self-preservation. We are all wounded animals. When we feel threatened, we viciously attack; whether the attack is physical, emotional, or silent. Silent attack is the worst because you shut down, cut others off and build a heart wall. The more hurt you experience, the higher you build a wall of protection. The problem with walls is that although you’re protecting your heart from pain, you’re also preventing the love you most desire to reach you. More, you’re preventing God’s love: Agape love from penetrating your soul.
You won’t know this is hidden in your soul until God divinely ordains situations and people to illuminate them. And that often occurs through channels of arguments, disagreements, disrespect, and rejection. Ahh… now the heart work can begin:says the Lord Almighty! But sadly, we often reject the work that’s required to heal our soul. We turn to others, run away, shut down emotionally or drown our sorrows in outward stimuli. All the while the soul is still bleeding. Most think conflict is a bad thing. Everything has its duality. In life we must always look for good in the bad. Conflict forces you to know more about the other person. It forces you to learn their love language, communication style, needs, wants, desires, values; and most importantly, it forces you to learn more about yourself: your strengths, weaknesses, resilience, and faith in God. And, if you value the relationship, conflict will recalibrate your inner man to compassionately, lovingly, and humbly make adjustments for the betterment of the other person. Ahh… that’s true love! The Bible says by doing so, you’re fulfilling the law of Christ, Galatians 6:2; and He commands us to love one another how He loves us, John 13:34-35. Sadly, 40% of marriages end in divorce. Even Christian ones. Beloved, we must put on our armor and fight for God’s divine love: Agape love in our relationships. And that is putting down our pride, ego, control, and stubborn will; washing others feet in humility-Like Jesus. We are all wounded soldiers, but by all means, we are to lift up our brethern on the battle field and carry them to safety. Suffering long with them. This is the epicenter of a Godly relationship. When you’re fighting for love, the devil is losing!
Today, the Spirit of God is heavy on this earth. I am not the type to write fire and brimstone messages but this message is heavy on my heart. I just show up to prayer and let God have His way. There is a rebuking and binding in the spirit; a chastisement of His church. My heart wept and is sorely greived at the revelation of corruption in God’s churches now. Because of the scare of this pandemic, many church leaders are turning to the idols of their heart, for fear of lack of provision. EZEKIEL 14:7,8. God’s Spirit is crying out for the Salvation of His people because of the turning of heart from Him to their wicked ways! God is giving His ministers a chance to repent; to reconcile with Him, to turn from their evil ways or else destruction will fall on their house! It is up to you (you know who you are) to hear what ‘thus said the Lord.’
Oh how God loves His children! Anytime God’s Spirit cries out and weeps and interceeds for a people, God really loves that nation and wants them to turn back to Him. Some have turned to the idol of their heart and may not even realize it! I can attest, many have prayed for me when I was blinded by sin, calling myself a ‘Christian’ while grieving The Spirit of God! But God delivered me out of Satan’s trap! AMEN! He removed the demonic veil that was used to try to steal my soul. EZEKIEL 13:17-18. Beloved, many Christian leaders are being bewitched by the idol of their heart. (EZEKIEL 13:17, 14:3) Mammon, fame, unethical church growth, lust, adultery, fornication, porn, manipulation, seduction, marketing tactics, sedition. These are disgraces to God’s Holy Altar! God is sending out an altar call to revive His church! Many He said will perish because of blaspheming His Name- the ‘self-proclaimed’ prophets, prophetess, teachers, evangelists ministers whom He has NOT called or those turned away to the idols of their hearts. And many churches WILL NOT return after Covid. Some have already fallen by the waste side. God closed churches so that ‘His people’ can be spiritually awakened! Be blessed!
While walking through midtown Manhattan, a sign that read “God is love,” posted next to a padlock chained, boarded up business, stopped me in my tracks. The oxymoron of God’s sovereignty and chains and a lock juxtaposed together. In Christ there’s freedom. He died indeed so that we’re freed from bondage and damnation. John 3:16, says that God so LOVED the world that He gave His only begotten son so that we may not perish but have everlasting life. The Bible says perfect love casts out fear, and that fear involves torment. Torment is being emotionally locked in chains. Many are free physically but their soul is bound and chained by fear and sin!
Many fear what tomorrow may bring, the political climate, lack of provision, while others are bound by addiction, debilitating sin, torment, pride or rebellion.
Beloved, there’s so many voices warring for your soul.
I’m reminded in 2 Chronicles when Hezekiah became king and rededicated Jerusalem to God after king Ahaz’s reign. Vs. 32:1 says, king Sennacherib came and entered Judah seeking to win them over to himself. Verse 32:15, goes on to say king Sennacherib taunted Judah saying that no god of any nation or kingdom was able to deliver his people from him or his father’s hand. Isn’t that like Satan, he comes with his fortified armies of fear, intimidation and threats to cause you to give up and lose hope. But vs. 32: 7 says,
King Hezekiah encouraged Jerusalem to be strong and courageous; do not be afraid nor dismayed before the king of Assyria, nor before the multitude that is with him; for there are more with us than with him.
Beloved, there are more with us than with our enemies! Though we can’t see God’s hand of protection with physical eyes, rest assured God’s fighting our battles behind the scene. The devil attacks us through flesh (people), but 32:8 says, with us: God’s people, we have The Lord our God to fight our battles! Vs. 20 goes on to say King Hezekiah and prophet Isaiah cried out to heaven and THE LORD SENT AN ANGEL who cut down every mighty man of Valor, leader and captian in Assyria. Amen!
God loves you and knows the cry of your heart. You need only cry out to Him, and allow Him free reign in your life and He shall deliver you from all your enemies, whether internal or physical. God is love and He loves you!
Learning how to fail sounds like an oxymoron right? But before you discredit this word hear me out.
The Holy Spirit has been ministering to my heart for years about learning how to fail, and this my definition of the phrase:
Learning how to fail is learning to shift your focus, correct mistakes, reject failure and keep trying with dogged determination.
I recently experienced a very tough situation. I thought I had dotted all my “I’s,” and crossed all of my “T’s,” but in the interim unexpected events occurred. I was distracted. And, I wasn’t as prepared as thought, so my confidence was shaken. After the fact, I felt as if I didn’t clearly hear from God, and questioned my abilities. I started thinking maybe this isn’t for me so maybe I should give up, quit. Then I started questioning God why did He let it happen the way that it did, even though I diligently prayed about it and it still didn’t work out. It wasn’t successful, I thought. In that moment it felt like God wasn’t near, and He wasn’t hearing me. So next came self-loathing, sadness and victimization. So I went to bed quite despondent that night.
How many of you ever went through those same type of situations?
The following morning, a page from the Bible, which was open on my bedside, kept flapping from the wind of the fan and woke me up. So I picked it up and there were verses highlighted: Habakkuk 2:2-4:
Then the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time.; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, it will not tarry … But the just shall live by His faith.
When the verse opened with, ” The Lord answered me.” I felt like God was speaking directly to me. Like He was saying, “Are you done, are you finished feeling sorry for yourself?” Now let me speak! Next, the verse ” that he may run who reads it,” really spoke to my heart. I interpreted it as the dreams, goals and plans that we all have, God put in our hearts, so we have to cement it by affirming it, writing it down, or writing it on our hearts. Once we do that, we have to “run” with it! When we define the word run, it’s not only talking about the physical aspect of running, but also keeping in pace, pushing forward, the courage to keep going and not giving up!
So I felt God was ministering to me that part of my problem was not finishing what I start. How many of you start projects, relationships, jobs, businesses; and when you face obstacles you give up or quit instead of pushing through the hard times? Everything has a learning curve. So many don’t make it past that stage to see the fruits of their labor; to see their dreams manifest.
So the problem is when we give up, we stunt our growth. And guess what? God leaves you there spiritually until you gain the courage and faith to try again. God will not make things just happen for you. You must do your part. The Bible says faith without works is dead. You will have to “apply” to your life what you say you believe in the Bible. That was truly a revelation to me. I thought if you prayed about it God automatically will do it. But beloved, we have to do our part by studying, training, getting the necessary knowledge; and most importantly, having faith in God to do it so He can bless the fruits of our labor.
Life is so hard and uncertain. When you think you have it all figured out, something comes and knocks the wind out of you. But beloved, God is ministering to us through the wind. We must not FOCUS on the wind, but on God! It’s not about your looks, intelligence, talent, skills or lack thereof. As a believer, God wants us to let go of pre-programmed, worldly thinking, and focus squarely on Him! Zechariah 4:6, says it is “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord of hosts.”
Many have worn themselves out trying to make things happen in their own strength. With their limited knowledge or with their gifts. I’m tired of trying to do it on my own. I don’t about you! But it has taken me all these years to let God lead. To let God develop me for His will. The problem is we try to make things happen before God is ready to use us! And when we fall on our face, oftentimes we blame God, and dwell on our hurt and pain. But can I tell you, God lets us go through that because it is part of His plan to mold our life. To strengthen us. To make us warriors. To make us undefeatable. It’s like building muscle. You do know that in order to build muscle, you literally have to tear up tissue so it can heal, get stronger, then grow bigger. That’s what God is doing: tearing us up in the inside. He’s tearing up our detrimental thinking, negative emotions, and mental weakness so that we can grow bigger in faith.
The world’s failure is our spiritual training for the kingdom of God. Beloved, there are pockets in our character that need to be healed. Many suffer from childhood trauma that is directly related to fear, rejection, and abandonment issues in childhood. So God allows these situations to cleanse those areas of your life so that you can be the best representation of you! Albeit, some of your relationships, businesses, careers may still not work out to your expectation, but it is the “process” that God is using to clean you up, prepare you for the kingdom, and give you the life that HE wants you to have. Be blessed.
In our natural lives, before we can become qualified in an area of study or certify our competence for promotion, we must pass a test. In order to be proficient on that test, we must study. However, spiritual laws operate very differently. In regards to our spiritual life, God gives us the test first, then the lesson.
George Floyd’s death is a test. It is a test that yet and yet again, America keeps failing. Therefore, God keeps retesting us. Finally in 2020, we have pulled out our Cliff Notes and are taking His tests more seriously. We, as a nation; as a people; as a society, need to study God’s lessons. We need to study what we can do individually to pass the test of racism in our communities, schools, and social structures. IT IS NOT ONLY just up to the police department to change its practices; it’s up to all of us to create change in our families and communities.
The lessons we need to study are: examining our character, morals, intent and perspective of others. Our lesson is to stop chanting “No justice, no peace,” until we start enacting “peace” in our own home, toward our loved ones, neighbors, and community. Our lesson is to stop chanting “Stop the violence,” until we stop killing each other; whether by gun violence, molesting family members, domestic violence; or by physical, mental or emotional abuse. Healing first starts in YOUR OWN FAMILY. Compassion, love, and acceptance first start in YOUR family; only then can it spread to the community. Only then can it CHANGE laws. Only then can it CHANGE A NATION!
More, the Coronavirus pandemic is a test. Now scientists and researchers must go back and study Covid19, to not only find its point of origin; but also a cure. They must study its biology, mutation and transmission. Linearly, Covid19 is testing us as a people. Our faith is being tested. Our profession, family, finances, belief system, and our health are being tested.
We must now go back and study. We must study what we must do differently, what we must change, and what we can do better. We must gauge what steps we must take to become our best: emotionally, financially, physically and mentally. We must learn what we need to do individually to position ourselves to defeat any triumph we face. We must study what God is telling us individually in this time.
Yes. I am a Christian, first. Yes. I am a black person. Yes. I am a woman. But most, I am a writer and writing is my therapy from the evils of this world.
There’s much talk lately about the role of Christians in this time of racial upheaval. Whether we should protest, speak out about racial injustice, or even stand in solidarity with those on the front lines fighting for racial equality by protesting. Just recently a young family member asked me to attend a protest. I went.
As a Christian, I do pray. But when I walk into a store or public area, the first thing people see is this black skin first, not my Christianity, nor my character. I’m judged solely on the color of my skin. The story of Ahmaud Arbery resonated deeply with me. As an avid runner, you would not believe the harassment I receive by simply being a woman, albeit a black woman. There was a time I ran through a certain neighborhood during the course of my run, and stopped by a particular store. The security guard at the store, every single time, came out and followed me around the store and harassed me by letting me know he’s watching me. He’d trail me the whole time in the store telling me if I break or open anything I’ll have to pay for it. And if I pick up something, put it back where I got it, he would tell me before I touched anything.
The angry way he spoke to me and looked at me was alarming. I was simply a black woman shopping, looking really, because I was afraid to touch anything. I never said a word to the man, I just tried to be non-confrontational. Until one day I’d had enough! I walked into the store and he made a beeline towards me, started screaming at me before I looked at anything. I turned, looked him directly in the eyes and said: Leave me alone! You’ve been harassing me since I first started coming to this store. I’ve done nothing! You’re racially profiling me! If you don’t leave me alone I will call the police. Your behavior is nothing more than racist! It was only then that he backed off somewhat. Later appearances at the store, he stopped trailing me and would only demean me with his eyes from afar. Those eyes; what look of hatred and disdain! I continued to keep shopping at that store because I choose to be PART OF THE SOLUTION. Every black person thereafter that shops at the store would face the same level of degradation I did if I didn’t fight for my right to shop while black.
As Christians, of course we pray: all the time. But beloved, sometimes the vitriol is so violent againt black people that you get mad, angry even. We’re allowed to feel emotion, we’re human. But the Bible says, be angry but do not sin. And that is what separates Christians from the world.
Unless you are a black person and walk daily in these black shoes, experiencing this black life, you’ll never fully understand the hatred simply for being black. I’ve been called everything from the “N” word to nappy headed, to any other derogatory term and epitaph you can think of. And not only by white people, either.
There’s many other instances of blatant racism too. Like when I went to a bank and the security guard came from across the other side of the bank and stood behind me as I used an ATM, not even going to the teller. Mind you, there were others in the bank. He stood behind me the entirety of the transaction. I turned around and said: “How are you? Hope you’re having a blessed day!” He looked at me confused then followed me out the door! Banking while black!
Oh, not to mention the time while driving with a female relative and a child in the car, the cops pulled us over for a moving violation. What shocked me was the cop called two other squad cars to the scene. For two women? I was very afraid in that moment. That is the fear many black people face when coming face to face with cops. The demeanor of the officer was very rude and condescending. No way am I saying all officers are bad. There are good cops too. It’s the human condition of the heart of those who don’t know Jesus that fills them with fear and hatred. In every occupation, there are those few who don’t uphold dignity and respect for their fellow man. Eventually we were let go by the police. I cried that whole week thinking what if things would have gone differently.
Beloved, there are many, many more instances of blatant racism against black people. So when these police shootings occur it hurts deep down in our soul, Christian or not. I think all black people say to themselves: “That could have been me!” And wonder if we are going to be the next victim. Whether by police brutality or black on black shooting.
We all may not have a global reach. But I do believe God uses each one of us to affect change by reaching those closest to us. God uses these scofflaw moments to plant seeds of love whether the recipient receives it or not. We just need to pray for them and leave the rest up to God.
In darkness light always shines; in light, the shadow of darkness always appear.
Before a thing manifests physically, a seed must first be planted spiritually. There’s a darkness in the soul of man. God is shining a light on this generation. He is uprooting the seed of hatred and indifference buried deep within the heart of this nation.
Many sometimes mistake light for darkness. The fire that went up in Minneapolis is God’s light. God is shining His light yet again on this time of civil unrest, moral decay and spiritual sickness.
The woman holding the sign: “George Floyd’s life mattered,” is God’s light. The man marching down the street chanting “Stop killing us,” is God’s light. The young boy clinging onto his mother’s leg while she’s fighting for his right to be black in America, is God’s light. Those looting and vandalizing are shining God’s light on the dis-ease of this society.
There was a season for Dr.Martin Luther King’s movement. There was a season for Malcolm X’s movement. Even a season for Mandela’s. But this movement is now! Being led by the atmosphere, the climate, political warriors, social changers and people who’re just fed up!
Souls are screaming out from the grave, the blood spilled on God’s streets is screaming; screaming through the heart beat and emotion of those in Minneapolis fighting for JUST US: Justice!
The heart of America has been murmuring and palpitating for centuries; pumping boiling blood through its veins. The blood vessel has burst and poured out into the streets of this nation. Yet again its heart is sick.
This isn’t about a people looting and vandalizing a community, it’s about retribution. It’s about the KKK stealing brown people, looting their homes, stealing them from their families, and vandalizing their brown property by heinous act of murder.
The new Jim Crow masks itself behind blue uniforms and democracy, while the Willie Lynch letter is still being passed down from generation to generation; read to society through media, politics, entertainment and commercialism. Further dividing the black family, emasculating the black man; while still teaching slave owners (court system, politicians, prison industrial complex, sports) how to POLICE and buck black men.
The opposite of peace is piece. When you lose your peace, your thoughts scatter into fragment pieces. You are not whole. Where the mind treads the body will soon follow. Worry, anxiety, panic and hopelessness become normalacy. The mind is so powerful. One thought can change the whole trajectory of a day, a problem or a self-appointed life-sentence. You may be free but negative thoughts hold your mind a prisoner.
Peace of mind is a habit. It is a habit of disciplining the mind to challenge any thought that brings distress. A negative thought is so subtle, it eases its way in but takes extreme effort to kick out. It really takes a mental battle to free your mind from clutter to subtlety.
You really have to be proactive. If you take a mental assessment, what do you usually focus your attention on? Your problem, or the solution? Defeat, or seeing yourself overcoming the situation? Most importantly, do you meditate on God, or the madness?
2 Corinthians 10:5, asks us to
Cast down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
That’s half the battle! The other half is training your mind daily by meditating on and affirming the word of God.
We are definitely in a killing season. Ecclesiastes so eloquently reminds followers of Christ that there will be contrasting seasons in our lives. We know this, but when the season of death comes upon us it is never easy to bear. But God has a plan and His hand on it all! Though the spirit of death is moving over the earth, the Bible reminds us in Exodus 12:7-13, to cover our door posts with the blood of the lamb: His Son. Though we’re covered by the blood of Jesus, we all feel the ramifications of this pandemic. Many are physically dying of Coronavirus, while others are succumbing to mental, emotional, relational, financial and material death. Contrarily, the beauty of the promises of God is we know there will yet again come a time of harvest!
Though you may feel like the enemy is burying you, rest assured, God’s only planting you deep down in isolation so you will emerge stronger and higher! Many are heavy burdened in this season. Gloom may cause you to doubt that you will make it through this time of testing, be encouraged, God is only killing off things in you that are unfruitful and unproductive. He’s killing off dead weeds in order for your true beauty to blossom. God’s dealing with the heart in this hour. He’s purifying you from the inside out. He’s stretching your faith, teaching you to trust Him. He’s working out your spiritual muscles for HIS greater good in your life! He’s preparing your hands for war and your fingers to fight. Haven’t you noticed? The more of the enemy’s territory you conquer, the stronger you are? Like it or not, a Christ follower will always have battles. But how reassuring is it that Psalm 34:19 says, many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God delivers him out of them all! God has a purpose for your life. He may have allowed your loved one to leave this earth, He may have allowed you to suffer loss, He may have allowed loneliness and depression.
However beloved, find solace in the fact that after this Coronavirus death, that truly is killing us all in some aspect of our lives- there will come new life! You’ll emerge stronger than before. You’ll have a better job than before. You’ll be connected to a new like-minded community. Your relationship with God will be stronger. You’ll find your purpose. Most importantly, you’ll know that your loved ones-those in Christ- their demise was not a final goodbye, more so, a temporary leave of absence until you join them in heaven! Be encouraged, God loves you!