Tag: relationships

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Come To Jesus Moment

“You f…… B…..!” Is the epithet he hurled at me. Did I get your attention? As people who faithfully follow Jesus we are not excluded from our share of anger, vitriol and harassment; if not even more. Christ believers are supposed to share the gospel of Christ and fulfill the call of The Great Commission by telling others about our redeeming Savior. Preachers admonish parishioners at church services worldwide on Sunday mornings to “tell others about Jesus!” I often think: What about those who do not want to be told about God? In today’s climate, I cannot tell you how many times telling others about the goodness of God met me with indifference, hatred and disdain. People are either atheist, agnostic, apatheist or new agers. Hey, different people follow different religions — I get that — and are as passionate about their beliefs as I am about mine. In a few instances, some people I spoke to even tried to get me to convert to their religion. More, other people that I spoke to were deeply hurt by “religious” people and ran as fast as they could away from anyone who uttered the name God. Then there are those who like to challenge your beliefs, undermine your knowledge in God, and corner you into a debate about religion. I’ve learned long ago not to debate God’s word. And then there are those whom I believe are actually tired, miserable, broken and overtaken by their sins but refuse to submit to God out of distrust and/or rebellion. Thus, they attack the “God” in you!

The person who made the offensive comment to me was someone I loved dearly. He was like a brother to me. You know the type of person that is very judgmental, condescending, rude, aggressive and confrontational? This describes my dear friend. He had practically driven away every one in his family and our circle of friends because of his behavior, but I refused to give up on him. “I will love him like Christ loved, and continue telling him about God,” is what I told myself. Nonetheless, at every meeting, dinner, get together with him I left feeling drained, insulted, berated, picked apart and belittled.

But this last meeting was on a whole nother level. It’s as if he came with an agenda to provoke me to respond to his antics. The cheerful person that I am, he began to attack my happiness asking me “Why are you smiling so much? There’s nothing to smile about!” Can you believe it? Someone’s mad at you for smiling! I quickly told him what’s inside reflects on the outside and would he rather I be miserable like him? I know … I know I probably shouldn’t have said that but I just could not believe what I was hearing. He criticized everything from God, my natural hair and character, to my joyful personality. Then it dawned on me how far God had brought me from a few years ago; He took away all my pain and replaced it with His joy! I then began sharing with my friend details of my background and the things God had brought me through, and telling him that’s where my joy comes from. Telling him about the goodness of God in my life seemed to make him even more confrontational. He started badgering religion, religious people and Jesus. I told him that I’m sorry that he feels that way but God is a redeemer and if he would just open up and try to get to know God his life could change too. He said he doesn’t need God and his life is fine without him.

I had to go there! … Albeit nicely. I told him the truth. I told him that his communication with others comes off as negative, aggressive and rude. Sure, we all have our bad days, but to live in a place of perpetual rudeness is a reflective character trait. I reminded him of a couple of people we know that he personally hurt deeply. He took no responsibility and shifted blame on everyone else. He then said that he was a good person and “does good” for others. I told him good works does not make up for the hurt and pain he leaves in his aftermath. I invited him to invite God into his life. I was then met with anger, harsh words, and berating. So much so, I had to walk away from this person whom I considered a dear friend. What truly has the world come to? If you’re smiling it’s fake. If you’re nice you have an ulterior motive. If you’re a Christian you’re hateful because you believe what the Bible says. It’s hard out here in these streets! The Bible forewarned of times such as these.

In Isaiah 5:20, the Bible warns of calling good evil and evil good.

By the time I got home I was in tears and had a pow-wow with God. “God, how could he talk to me like that? Why would he curse me out like that?” It was then God began to pour into my spirit how His Son Jesus was cursed, beaten, and murdered because He shared the good news. It was as if He asked me “Was I more important than His son? Was I better than His son?” If Jesus had to suffer persecution so will you, my child! Wow! It was a wake up call! I had to apologize for my own entitlement and shortsightedness.

How many times have we asked God to “use us” for His kingdom and the assignment does not come as we expect? Truthfully, many do as the aforementioned: question God and walk away from the gospel completely when they are deeply hurt. And truthfully speaking, it is not the person attacking you but the spirit in them. It is often because many people do not want to turn away from their sins, they have been hurt and are afraid to trust God, or they need to test the “God in you” because they need to know He’s real. They are really looking for something to believe in and need to know that this God you speak so highly of is really a redeemer. If we, who proclaim this Christ, buckle at every insult then it gives opposers the finger to mock God and question His power in our lives. I have had it happen time and time again. But what I felt God was speaking to me in this situation is that he used me to plant a seed of salvation. Many hurting people put on a tough exterior but deep down they are yearning for help. God is so loving, he hears their inward cries. When someone touches God’s heart, He usually sends many people to speak into their life.

Life is hard. Sin has hardened people, but our hearts must not become hardened.

This situation with my friend is what I call a ‘Come to Jesus moment.’ We who serve Christ often too have to come to Him and lay at his feet and cry as a little baby. Life is hard. Sin has hardened people, but our hearts must not become hardened. We must do as Paul admonishes,”fight the good fight of faith” and finish our race — bruises, scars, wounds and all!

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New Year 2016 Prophecy Part 2

In continuation from the last post, I would like to futher explore what I feel God is speaking to singles this year; as well as those that are separated from a spouse or those who feel isolated within a marriage. 

I am a girl’s girl! I love having friendships and bonding with my fellow sisters. I love that women can come together in times of need to edify, encourage, and uplift one another. I love that my friends and I don’t take for granted the need to bond and break bread together. Oftentimes when we come together we cry, laugh, and share anecdotes of embarrassing moments, mistakes, regrets, courting and of course men! It is out of some of these very intimate conversations that I feel led to write on the subject regarding singles. While this post isn’t entirely for women, there are many men that may identify with and learn from this text. 

It seems as if dating and sex are the elephants in the room at many churches. There, I said it! Often there are ministries devoted to couples, single moms, youth, seniors, even prison ministries but a consensus that I find that is often lacking in many churches is a ministry devoted strictly to middle aged singles. Yes, there are some churches with singles’ ministries but sadly many of them are simply singles’ retreats that don’t address the underlying issues many single people face: dating, lust, and sex! 

Many singles are struggling in this area and sadly are resorting to fornication, pornography, lust, and masturbation while singing in the choir, ushering, and working in ministry because they feel their specific concerns aren’t being met corporately within the church. This is the most common area where many women secretly confide in me for answers. One woman told me she had been single for years and was simply tired of waiting on God! Sadly, she started a sexual relationship with a young man and it ended horribly. Beloved, God knows best! Wait on His timing! It seems as if this subject is taboo in church, which should not be. If there are any clergy reading this post, I admonish you in your prayer time to ask God how to incorporate a singles’ ministry into your church or if there is a singles’ ministry, ask God how to get to know the needs and concerns of its members and restructure a plan to meet their needs.  

First off, let me start by saying, according to the Bible, I believe single people should not have sex until marriage. But because of underlying root problems many singles are forgoing this belief whether because of agnosticism, pop culture, loneliness, peer pressure, or a need to feel loved and accepted. And that is what I would like to address today.

LET’S EXPLORE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM

Beloved, many singles, even though some sit under sound doctrine at church are fornicating Saturday night but are Holier than thou on Sunday morning. Because of these dalliances babies are born out of wedlock, some are committing adultery, some are contracting STD’s and sadly, some are aborting babies to hide their sin. All for what? Love, loneliness, a need to feel wanted, a feeling of rejection? All of these key factors play an important role in this behavior, but the most important I believe, is rejection! Let’s delve exactly what rejection is and the ramifications caused by it. Rejection is a feeling of unacceptance and exclusion by another party or parties. In the spirit realm, it manifests as a spirit that attaches itself to people and if not recognized and cast out can cause many to live unfulfilled and loveless lives. Some people carry a spirit of rejection because of many different factors:

▪️Rejection in the womb.

Some people were rejected in the womb at birth. Some women who got pregnant didn’t want the child therefore spoke a curse of rejection over their child’s life, either verbally or emotionally. Some women tried to abort a child, but for whatever reason had the child. Some women put their child up for adoption. Many adoptees, even though some have been raised by a loving family, desperately search for birth parents because they still feel unloved and unattached–spirit of rejection. Beloved, rejection in the womb is a spirit projected onto a person from birth that if not cast out will cause a person to go through their whole life, unbeknownst to them, desperately looking for someone to love them.

▪️Rejection as a child.

 Some children were rejected by parents, relatives, or peers and it left an indelible mark on their emotional state. Some people felt rejected by their parents because the parents perhaps worked more on their jobs than spending time with them. Some people, their parents were in the home but only talked to them when scolding or beating them; or their presence was in the home physically but not emotionally–they didn’t communicate with the child.  These parents never told their kids they loved them or showed them any type of affection. In continuation, many people were told that they were not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and that led to very low self-esteem. Some people were called names or teased by relatives or peers because of a birth trait, or physical trait that left them feeling insecure, indifferent or unworthy. Beloved, the spirit behind these hurtful words told them that they were not good enough. Therefore many have spent their lives trying to be accepted, trying to measure up, trying to seek the approval of people who’re often unworthy of them.  

▪️Self rejection. 

Beloved, many curse themselves with their own mouth because of what they believe about themselves. Because of bullying by peers as mentioned above, some will carry the insulting words in their mind well into adult hood, look into the mirror and pick themselves apart: I’m not pretty enough to get the mate I want, I’m not smart enough, I’m too fat among other self-hating thoughts that people tell themselves daily. Beloved, if you believe these things about yourself you will believe others share this same view about you and it is simply not the truth! There is a spirit of vanity in today’s culture that is causing many to measure themselves up against celebrity standards. Contrarily, some people fall on the opposite side of the spectrum. Rejection has caused some to exhibit a false sense of pride. No man or woman is good enough for them. They may be very attractive and have everything going for them, but this spirit of rejection drives potential suitors away because internally they really don’t accept themselves. It’s a spirit of perfection. How you see you is how others will see you, despite appearance. Beauty comes from within. People gravitate towards a beautiful spirit. Work on yourself internally first. Study what God’s word says about you. Psalms 139. Begin to speak life over yourself, not death. Proverbs 18:21. You have to learn how to accept yourself before anyone else will. Until you rebuke this spirit of rejection and accept yourself, you’ll never attract your divine mate because this spirit of rejection will chase them away. I also advise you to seek out deliverance ministries and allow men of God to lay hands, anoint with oil and pray for you concerning this area.  

▪️Many feel God has rejected them. 

Beloved, I have talked to people who strongly feel that God rejected them because parents abandoned them as children, they lost a loved one or a spouse cheated on, abused them and/or walked out on them. In their minds they think God is their enemy, that He has cursed them, or rejected them. That cannot be further from the truth. In this life we all have our share of heartache and pain, but many internalize theirs with a narrow-minded subjective view. Let this type of thinking go. God loves you and wants the best for you! Recognize who the real enemy is: satan. The Bible says he comes to rob, steal and kill. John 10:10. Some people refuse to believe that satan or a devil exists. He does, and sadly he is destroying many lives, some because of choices made or doors left open to sin, yet God is still getting the blame! Beloved, God gives us free will to choose. Some choose wrongly then blame God. God is speaking restoration this year. Restore your relationship with Him. Let go of the anger and animosity you feel towards God and allow Him to heal you!

GOD LOVES YOU

Beloved this spirit of rejection has destroyed many of lives. The need to be accepted has caused many women to turn to prostitution, the sex industry, drugs, and live lascivious lifestyles all because they have not dealt with the root cause of their problem. As well, men by trying to find love through money, status, wrong relationships and many sexual partners, but to name but a few.

GOD IS RESTORING SINGLES

God wants you to know that you are worthy! He loves you! He wants to restore you in this season. Get behind the root of your behavior; whether it’s low self-worth, loneliness, abandonment, or rejection. Find out why it is you behave the way you do in regards to relationships. When you do I guarantee God will meet you where you are and the healing will begin. You can’t take this word nonchalantly but run with it! Help him heal you to be able to love the way He created you to love: in honesty, purity, truth, and transparently.

After you have dealt with the root of your problem, you have to know what you want, you cannot be double minded. One minute you want to be married the next minute you don’t because of past hurts or fear. Whatever you want, be firm in that position and pray for God to bless you! God says make up your mind then I will bless you! Because of anger, resentment, pain, and past hurts, (some decades old) many people’s relationships have been stunted, wombs have been closed, hopes, dreams have died and weddings have been put on hold. Deal with the root of your problem, only then can God grow holy, pure, beautiful, loving relationships in 2016.

-Puah Neiel

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How to Find your soul mate

This is an excellent video by pastor Toure Roberts. Whatever your situation: waiting for a mate, in a relationship or divorced; Mr. Roberts offers excellent insight and counsel regarding dating that all singles need to hear before considering if a person is ‘The One.’ please click on the link below.

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Should women pursue men? 

Upon having a discussion with a friend this past week, the conversation delved in to the proverbial:Should women pursue men? topic. My friend an advocate, me an adversary. After exchanging opinions back and forth, I decided I needed to research this topic a bit more from a Biblical standpoint and ascertain what God’s word says about it.  


Mark 10:6

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’

When we start from the very beginning of creation, we discern that God first created male then female; hence the order, Adam–then Eve. Next, let’s go on to Christian courting. I don’t say dating because I do not believe Christians should date multiple people at one time, but if he or she meets a godly prospect, the two should begin the process of getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage. 

Genesis 2: 22,24

And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Beloved, you will notice that most every Bible verse pertaining to man and woman, almost always LEAD with ‘the man.’ Moreover, as we examine the above verse in Gen 2, it firmly establishes the fact that God “brought the woman to the man.” It did not say that the woman went looking for the man or the woman had to find the man. Therefore, it backs up my theory that a woman shouldn’t go looking for a man, but God will put her in a situation, without her own effort, to meet her husband.  

A perfect story is that of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was Naomi’s daughter-in- law. Because Naomi’s husband and sons were killed, Ruth left Moab with Naomi to return to Judah. Boaz a relative of Naomi, owned a barley field in which Ruth worked. Boaz quickly noticed Ruth and inquired about her. For he was greatly smitten by Ruth, and ensured that she was safe,  protected and well taken care of. By the story’s end, Boaz bought Naomi’s land and along with it, won Ruth’s affection. 

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son. Ruth 4:13

Ruth was not only put in the position to meet her future husband, but also to become heir to the lineage of Christ. 

And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. Ruth 4:17 ESV.

Continuing, if a woman persues a man, she will never know if the man initially desired her, was initially attracted to her or would have chosen her; or if she’s just an option until he finds the woman of his dreams. In the above context, one can clearly deduce Ruth was Boaz’s dream woman. Not only was he mystified by her beauty, he also negotiated with the elders of the city to buy her mother-in-law’s land, and in turn won her love! He fought for her! I believe a woman devalues herself when she’s the pursuer of the relationship. I’m not talking about merely striking up a conversation with a gentleman if you happen to be in the same space, or letting a man know that you are interested, but more so I’m talking about women who are constantly calling, texting, nagging, stalking and pressuring male suitors into a relationship. What you are saying is, ‘I am desperate!’ Men can smell loneliness, desperation, and low-self esteem a mile away! 

This mode of thinking is shifting the natural order of relations between men and women that God divinely created; this in turn is reversing God’s laws. And, it is slowly weakening the male/female dynamic. Women are teaching men to be passive as opposed to being the aggressor, the hunter God created them to be. The male/female roles are slowly shifting, women are asking men out on dates, buying dinner, buying gifts and financially supporting men. In turn, this is creating a devaluing of the woman’s worth; her femininity, her mystery, her desirability, not to mention her bank account! Additionally, this behavior is deprogramming our young daughters to not have any self-worth or self-respect. It is teaching them to devalue themselves by persuing men as opposed to being persued; as opposed to knowing their value and worth, that when the right man does come along it will be an organic relationship where both parties want a mutually loving, respectful union, and not that of an unbalanced one where the woman is the one striving, suffering to maintain a man’s affections. 


Women need to be whole in themselves before looking for a man. How do you do that? By learning how to love God infinitely first, only then will you know how to truly love yourself; and most importantly, know what true love is. With so much love for herself, she will know that a true lady exudes confidence, allowing men to take notice of her. And, if the one she has her sights set on doesn’t acknowledge her, she has enough self-worth to know that this guy is not worth her valuable and precious time. More, that he doesn’t know the price of a masterpiece. Therefore, she stays high on her mantle, knowing that the right man will come along and know that this one is different, precious, rare; different from all the others, a true beauty and too costly to lose! This is what will constitute a long-lasting passionate marriage. 

Proverbs 18:32 says,

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

The way you start a relationship is the way it will end. Why start off soliciting a man and when he finds exactly the type of woman he’s looking for, dumpsf you. Christian or not, no one appreciates what comes too easily. Remember when you asked God for something and it wasn’t until years, maybe decades later before you got it, and the gratitude and appreciation you had for it?

The following are tell-tale signs that you are not whole:

1. Every time you go to social events, you scan the room for men, and  strategically try to put yourself in a man’s line of view or direct path.

2. You cannot enjoy time with friends, family without stating your desire to be married. 

3. You are jealous of other couples, or is overly critical of a man’s girlfriend/spouse.

4. Get depressed, cry a lot, critical of being single. 

5. Struggle with lust, masturbation, fornication. 

6. Thinks everything is a sign that you should be married: events, newspaper advertisements, passing by baby clothing or bridal stores by happenstance.  

7. Thinks that a man is the missing piece to your life. You haven’t finished school, established a career, are habitually unemployed, are an adult living at home with parents. Have no goals, ambition, or drive. 

8. Always giving examples of women who chased men and married them. 

9. If you have to have a man all the time, it means you don’t like being with yourself. 

10. If you don’t like being with yourself, nobody else will!


Whatever we think on, dwell on, will eventually surface. As a Christian woman you have to be very careful in selecting a mate because what shows up may not be from God. You may end up getting used, disrespected or taken advantage of. 

A woman who is truly whole looks like this:

She wakes up every morning, happy, content, and can’t wait to start her day. She is thriving in her career as well as her personal life. She is happy and always smiling. Her life is full and complete. She stays busy working in ministry, volunteering, making sure her children, family are well taken care of. She is strong in her faith. She helps out others wherever there’s a need. Her life is full and has value. She barely has time for herself. She encourages and uplifts others. It’s not  about her, but loving the souls around her. She never complains. She always puts herself last: last to leave work, last to be served, last to eat dinner. She’s a giver; a giver of advice, time, love, money and hugs. Others wonder in amazement of her endless energy and inner beauty. She gets up the next day and does it all over again. 

Women, are you whole?

-Puja Nagual      


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Soul Ties: Relationships

Some women may have dated different men over the course of their lifetime–vice versa–and may have noticed that each partner exhibited some of the same characteristics. Many in dysfunctional or unhealthy relationships cannot understand why they keep attracting the same kind of person. The answer lies partly in your spirit identifying with the other person’s spirit (meaning that both people are operating on the same spiritual frequency), but most importantly, the connection is sealed when the relationship is consummated. When you have a sexual relationship with another person, you feel a strong attachment to them because your souls have been joined to each other. Even though you may have broken up with the person, if you have not prayed over your connection to them, you have not broken up with the spirit that is operating in them! Thus, every man or woman you date thereafter will be a different physical body, but the same spirit following you through each relationship. It is called a familiar spirit.

That’s why the Bible puts such emphasis on fornication, immorality and adultery. We were not created to have sex outside of marriage. The woman was created physically from a man’s rib (Genesis 2:22), but spiritually from a man’s soul! The Bible says when a man and woman marry, they will become “one flesh,” because their souls have become conjoined. This broken covenant is the result of sexual disease, out of wedlock pregnancy, break down of the family structure, and emotional discord because of rebellion against God’s word.

“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:6-9).

Moreover, when you commit adultery, you are not only physically sleeping with someone’s husband/wife, but you are also copulating with the spirit of cheating, the spirit of lying, and the spirit of dishonesty! Therefore, you have made an agreement in the spirit realm with whatever characteristics this person has in his or her spirit. If we define copulating: it means connected or joined. Therefore beloved, you have “connected” the spirits to your soul. Those spirits are now a part of who you are! You made an agreement with them when you opened the door to sin. Because of the submission to sin in one area of your life, you will be given to lying, cheating and dishonesty in other areas of your life. You have heard many a wives or husbands of cheating spouses utter, “He or she has changed,” they aren’t the same person as they were when we first got married.” The cheating spouse will result to telling lie after lie, and manipulating scheme after scheme to cover his or her tracks. They will begin to operate out of character because they are under demonic subjection. In other words, their soul is being ruled by these spirits.

Moreover, abused women often find themselves selecting the same mate over and over again because they have entered into a soul agreement with an abusive, violent, controlling or manipulative spirit. Oftentimes, these soul ties are made before a woman is even born; by the parents. In most cases the mother has married an abusive or controlling man, and the spirit has been passed down her lineage to her daughter. A lot of women feel guilty because they cannot understand why they keep choosing the same type of man, but in actuality this spirit is the one pursuing them!  It is called a seducing spirit. If women are not aware of a controlling and abusive pattern they will keep entering these same type of relationships. A woman who has been in previous abusive relationships has to begin to make a conscious effort to pay attention to the type of behavior patterns a potential male suitor exhibits. Unfortunately, many women will deem this behavior acceptable because that’s the male example they were shown growing up in the home. It is true, many women marry replicas of their fathers! Most importantly, an abused woman must do a lot of spiritual work to break this generational curse, and sever ties with this type of spirit. It will take working on one’s self esteem, self worth, and learning to love oneself first. Whether it be through counseling, Bible study, or proactive self study. One must become diligent in identifying what causes her to make the choices that she makes, getting to the root cause of her behavior, and dealing with childhood emotional wounds.

In my research and counseling, I have encountered many people who have been sexually abused or molested. Often I find that many take on the spirit of the molester by later becoming the abuser themselves, delve into pornography or, people who have been molested by a same-sex abuser often enter into a soul tie with a homosexual spirit. It is called a spirit of transference. In no way am I saying all homosexuals are a result of a spirit of transference, but a majority of those whom I have personally counseled; this has been their testimony. An abused person must do extensive soul searching and Biblical study to identify their true identity–that which God created them to be–to deflect the identity which has been opposed upon them by the devil.

Additionally, a good majority of women who have been abused or molested often turn to prostitution, drug use or promiscuous behavior. They enter into soul ties with spirits of self-hate, hatred towards men, or self-destructive behavior. There have been countless cases of gay and abused men and women who have, through years of earnestly searching for truth, found their true identity in Christ and have broken this demonic stronghold.

But it is not easy! The devil will fight you every step of the way! But know beloved, it is our birth right to freedom in Jesus Christ!

In conclusion, breaking free from soul ties is attainable! Don’t think for one moment you have to stay where you are: in a hopeless, dark and lonely place where it seems like you cannot escape a burdening sin or a demonic stronghold! God is a rescuer! It will take a strong desire and a willingness to want to change, and submittance to God’s will for your life. I am living proof of how God can come in and put the pieces of a broken life back together again and use it for His glory! Amen!

We must be very careful in guarding our spirit and what we open our spirit up to.

(Excerpt from the book: Don’t just breakthrough, BREAK FREE! )

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How To Find The Love Of Your Life!: Part 2 #Singles #HappyValentinesday #Love #Soulmate #Valentine

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First off, I would like to begin with another test: go back and answer every question in Part 1 again, this time replace the name “God” with the name of your spouse or significant other.

The reason I asked you to reanswer the aforementioned questions is to get you to think about your romantic relationships, if you are in one. And, if you’re not to examine your behavior when you were previously in a relationship. Again, if you answered “no” to any of the questions, really, are you prepared for a divine mate?

The vertical relationship with God is paramount. Until you perfect this relationship, you will never know how to love within a horizontal relationship! Think about it…God consummated this love by dying on the cross for us! Beloved, God is a person. When you learn how to love God first, then all other relationships will take on that precedent of love.

So many profess to love God but live a fruitless life. They have their own agenda’s, plans, goals and God is really on the back burner. They have a self-centered view of what love should look like or be like. When you really dissected it it’s based on past hurts, failures, fear, selfishness. And, oftentimes pride.

The truth of the matter is some people don’t even love themselves. And quite sadly, because of life’s dissapointment’s, feel like God doesn’t love them either. Here in lies the problem…you can’t give away what you do not have! If you don’t love yourself how can you possibly love someone else? In many relationships today, people are yearning for love from another person and want someone else to make them happy! They want the other person to make them feel good about themselves. Beloved, you need to have love in you already, your love tank needs to already be full before entering a relationship. Another person can only compliment that love.

The only relationship you are having at any given time is that between yourself and God, not the other person! The other person is only a reflection of God. He wants to see how you will love him when He’s hungry, when He’s sick, when He’s in need, even when He’s cantankerous. Do you remember the story in Matthew 25:31-40? Furthermore, the way you treat yourself is the way you will treat other people. If you are unloving towards yourself, impatient, and critical, that’s how you will treat other people.

Human beings go into relationships with such false expectations, facades, masks, hopes and dreams.

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Marriage is not a fantasy that you wish to come true. Contrary to popular belief you don’t just fall in love. Scientists believe that in the first stages of a relationship there is a chemical reaction that takes place between two individuals that produces an euphoric state–if there is any validity to that theory–however, when that feeling subsides both people face the harsh reality of each one’s faults and the baggage both brought into the union. What do you do then? The Bible teaches us that we do not base our decisions on emotions (Galatians 5:16-24). Emotions are fickle and are constantly changing. It takes a conscious choice (concerted effort) to continue to love someone despite what challenges a relationship may bring. Of course it takes a lot of work and learning how to. But the Bible is the blueprint of love!

God is love (1John 4:8). We first must establish a dependant, intimate relationship with God. Not by name only but by spending quality time with The Father, getting to know His heart, His mind, and His desires; what He wants for us. Isn’t that what we do when we’re courting someone? If we don’t learn how to love God first, we will never be able to love ourselves, let alone another person. He teaches us how to love unconditionally. Christ is the epitome of love (Isaiah 53:5). Once you perfect your heavenly relationship with The Father you’ll know what it feels like to have a loving, healthy, pure relationship with another human being.

Many have become bitter, and some have resulted to fornication because they are tired of waiting on God. The Bible says: “every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed,” (James 1:14) NKJV. Beloved, If you cannot be faithful to God how can you possibly be faithful to man who lives in this flesh, fallible and apt to disappoint?

Once you fall in love with Jesus, it is truly a love you have never felt before! It fills all voids, loneliness, emptiness, and pain. It completes you and gives you an unspeakable joy! It wraps its loving arms around you despite your failures and shortcomings. So I ask, why settle for a moment of pleasure when God can give you a lifetime of joy! As Kirk Whalum admonishes in his ode to Christ: “falling in love with Jesus was the best thing I ever done!” He is the love of your life!

Let me just say, God speaks to us differently. Perhaps if you did answer yes to the questions that were asked in the test, have worked on yourself and are sold out to Christ, and feel God has lead you in this direction; dating websites may work for you! However, I would strongly tread with caution!

If you no one has told you today, I love you! Happy Valentines day! ❤

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