Tag: marriage

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LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

First off, Happy New Year family! I am so excited and expecting with open arms the blessings of God this new year! Upon pondering over my life regarding relationships, I’m so thankful for God’s faithfulness. I’ve been badly scarred and wounded by past relationships, as many of you. Albeit, God transforms the soul through a process of pain and suffering, purging and breaking. It is indeed painful, but at the same time liberating, spiritually renewing; and contrarily refreshing. Refreshing because though your soul wounds are deep and far reaching, God’s love is ever reaching down, laying His Sovereign hands on your soul, and healing each one seriatimly.


When I’m cut, I want to heal someone else.


Beloved, your hurts, wounds, fear, and pain are all hidden behind pride, ego, self-reliance, and self-preservation. We are all wounded animals. When we feel threatened, we viciously attack; whether the attack is physical, emotional, or silent. Silent attack is the worst because you shut down, cut others off and build a heart wall. The more hurt you experience, the higher you build a wall of protection. The problem with walls is that although you’re protecting your heart from pain, you’re also preventing the love you most desire to reach you. More, you’re preventing God’s love: Agape love from penetrating your soul.

You won’t know this is hidden in your soul until God divinely ordains situations and people to illuminate them. And that often occurs through channels of arguments, disagreements, disrespect, and rejection. Ahh… now the heart work can begin:says the Lord Almighty! But sadly, we often reject the work that’s required to heal our soul. We turn to others, run away, shut down emotionally or drown our sorrows in outward stimuli. All the while the soul is still bleeding. Most think conflict is a bad thing. Everything has its duality. In life we must always look for good in the bad. Conflict forces you to know more about the other person. It forces you to learn their love language, communication style, needs, wants, desires, values; and most importantly, it forces you to learn more about yourself: your strengths, weaknesses, resilience, and faith in God. And, if you value the relationship, conflict will recalibrate your inner man to compassionately, lovingly, and humbly make adjustments for the betterment of the other person. Ahh… that’s true love! The Bible says by doing so, you’re fulfilling the law of Christ, Galatians 6:2; and He commands us to love one another how He loves us, John 13:34-35. Sadly, 40% of marriages end in divorce. Even Christian ones. Beloved, we must put on our armor and fight for God’s divine love: Agape love in our relationships. And that is putting down our pride, ego, control, and stubborn will; washing others feet in humility-Like Jesus. We are all wounded soldiers, but by all means, we are to lift up our brethern on the battle field and carry them to safety. Suffering long with them. This is the epicenter of a Godly relationship. When you’re fighting for love, the devil is losing!

Continue reading “LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”
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New Year 2016 Prophecy

There are a few things that God put on my heart for this year that I would like to share with you. Though the text may be quite long, please bookmark this post and reference it when time allows. 

First, let’s start off with Psalm 85, which I feel captures the heart of what God wants to do in 2016. Psalm 85 speaks about restoration. The Psalm is a testament, by the sons of Korah, to God’s faithfulness and restoration of Jacob’s heritage. In the Old Testament in the book of Numbers, the Bible speaks about Korah who was a malcontent and along with a group of rebels, challenged the voice of God speaking through Moses. Korah arrogantly suggested that God chose him and his misguided group to lead the people in the wilderness in Israel. Moses then spoke a decree from God to the children of Israel that if Korah and his men aren’t truly sent by God the earth will open up and swallow them and everything that belongs to them. The earth opened its mouth and swallowed the men, along with their households and all their followers who were standing with them, and everything they owned. Numbers 16:28-32

Even though the Lord destroyed Korah and his posse, God spared Korah’s children. Numbers 26:9–11. God restored Korah’s linage despite his wickedness. He even blessed Korah’s linage by raising up the prophet Samuel through this blood line. Ancestors of Korah: Heman, Asaph, Ethan and Jeuthdan became talented leaders in choral and orchestra music in the tabernacle under king David, hence the writing of an estimated 25 Psalms. These Psalms express humility and thankfulness towards God. A stark contrast from distant relative Korah who had a spirit of pride and arrogance. 

Psalm 85:1 says, Lord you were favorable to your land; you restored the fortunes of Jacob. 

Beloved, even though your land may have been perceivably damaged by your lineage: parents, grand parents, ancestors, God is saying if you, in this season, will cry out to Him he will RESTORE in this season.

Psalm 85:4 

Restore us again, O God of our salvation, and put away your indignation toward us!

▪️God is saying that there are some who are secretly desiring Christ but because of social status, job status, image are not proclaiming Him publicly for fear of loss or backlash. God is saying those who are luke warm He will spit out of His mouth. He’s saying choose this day whom you will serve.

▪️There are some like Korah, who are prideful, arrogant, and judgmental. Those who believe Christ followers are weak and too religious. God is calling for repentance. God is going to open up your spiritual eyes this season.

▪️There are some Christians that have been struggling for years in your spiritual walk, this year God is saying cry out to Him! Believe for your deliverance, get serious with God! Although you’ve been struggling for many years, He’s going to give you the strength to overcome this year.

▪️God is going to bring some of you into different careers this year; careers that glorify Him and fulfill His call of the Great Commission.

▪️God is calling many of you to get serious in your prayer life and study time because you are going to face difficult situations this year. You will face some things that you could of never have imagined happening to you.

▪️Lastly, God has put a burden on my heart for singles. The rest of this post is dedicated to what I feel God wants to speak to singles or those who are single within relationships. God has heard your cries. This year God is tearing down, rebuilding, restoring, and performing miracles in this area. Singles that never thought that they would be married will marry this year. Barren wombs are going to conceive this year. Husbands are returning to wives this year. Restoration!

I will conclude this post here for the sake of length, and will continue on this subject in the next post.

Stay tuned…

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Stand Even Though The World Is Bending

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The story that broke this week regarding Jason Collins/Tim Tebow was a shocking reminder that the world is on a formidable mission to nullify God and His word! There is an agenda to desensitize everything that is against God’s word.

In today’s world things are taking a drastic turn for the worst. Men and women who take a stand for God to remain pure until marriage are ostracized and looked upon as weird, overzealous or too religious, while countless others are choosing to live in sin, cohabitate, and forbidding to marry; many are having children out of wedlock –some with different partners–are celebrated. Blended families is the new term; boldly declaring marriage antiquated! While those that may be single with no children are often ridiculed and pressured by family to get married and have children.

We are now living in a time where everyone has movements, causes, civil rights–but the Christian! If Christians rescind support of something against the word of God, we’re deemed not loving, if we speak out in support of the Bible against sin, we’re considered hateful. If we don’t support doctrine that does not line up with GOD’s word we’re considered heretics! Everyone is allowed to express opinion, but the Christian must be quieted, silenced! I have personally been attacked on several occasions because of my beliefs! The table has indeed turned where the Christian is becoming the anomaly!

Beloved, these are the days we’re living in. If you are a Christian, I admonish you to continue standing for God, no matter what pressure you are facing from the world! Continue holding fast to the word, continue praying, continue proclaiming what the word of God says, continue seeking God for His guidance!

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. James 4:8

Continue to remain pure knowing that your home is not of the earth, but a far greater kingdom!

For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
2 Corinthians 5:1

Beloved, I would be the first to tell you, it is not easy. You will be talked about, lied on, isolated, even attacked! But hold on, keep going, the Lord is on your side! The most beautiful thing to me is the more I’m estranged from the world, the deeper, more intimate my relationship is with God! In my most trying times, God always shows His faithfulness. If we keep our ears to the spirit realm we most always will get a word from God that directly pertains to the situation we are going through. It always brings me to tears because it ever reminds me how God sincerely loves us and is aware of our present circumstances. He has given me soothing comfort in the midst of the most trying times in my life. That’s what God’s grace is about: peace, lasting joy and happiness you can only get from the Father!

The world may have joy, but oftentimes it’s temporary and comes with conditions. Serving God solidifies an inner knowing that you are going to be O.K. wherever life may find you! It’s that peace that keeps you and radiates around you! Looking from the outside in, I always thought it was the person, situation, or circumstance in my life that caused me misery or pain. I always chose to ignore, avoid or run away whenever I experienced uneasiness, discomfort or exacerbation. It wasn’t until walking with God that I learned that we experience life from the inside out, not the opposite! The one constant in every situation or relationship in your life is you! You are the determining factor on what type of life experience you will have! Your mindset, attitude, and spiritual maturity determines the way you will view life. To be a successful Christian and withstand the world’s dogma, it is imperative that you build up your spiritual man, therefore you will not be so easily deterred by outside influences. More importantly, if you haven’t fully trusted Christ with your life and allowed Him full control of your circumstances, you are always going to react according to the flesh.

It’s our patiently waiting on, and trusting God that gives us peace in any situation we will face. If you have that peace, circumstances won’t easily upset you, people’s opinion of you won’t matter like it used to. You will be firmly planted, you will stop wanting to run every time a trial comes. You will have patience and confidence in knowing that God will supply whatever it is that you may need: a job, husband/wife, child, healing, because you will have the utmost confidence that everything is going to work out for your good! That’s maturing spiritually.

Walk by faith, not by sight, God knows the end. His ways are not our ways and His thoughts our thoughts. Isaiah 55:9, that in the end it all works out for our good! Albeit, it may not always be the way we want it to be, but rest assured beloved, it is for our good!

Continue to stand!

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How To Find The Love Of Your Life!: Part 2 #Singles #HappyValentinesday #Love #Soulmate #Valentine

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First off, I would like to begin with another test: go back and answer every question in Part 1 again, this time replace the name “God” with the name of your spouse or significant other.

The reason I asked you to reanswer the aforementioned questions is to get you to think about your romantic relationships, if you are in one. And, if you’re not to examine your behavior when you were previously in a relationship. Again, if you answered “no” to any of the questions, really, are you prepared for a divine mate?

The vertical relationship with God is paramount. Until you perfect this relationship, you will never know how to love within a horizontal relationship! Think about it…God consummated this love by dying on the cross for us! Beloved, God is a person. When you learn how to love God first, then all other relationships will take on that precedent of love.

So many profess to love God but live a fruitless life. They have their own agenda’s, plans, goals and God is really on the back burner. They have a self-centered view of what love should look like or be like. When you really dissected it it’s based on past hurts, failures, fear, selfishness. And, oftentimes pride.

The truth of the matter is some people don’t even love themselves. And quite sadly, because of life’s dissapointment’s, feel like God doesn’t love them either. Here in lies the problem…you can’t give away what you do not have! If you don’t love yourself how can you possibly love someone else? In many relationships today, people are yearning for love from another person and want someone else to make them happy! They want the other person to make them feel good about themselves. Beloved, you need to have love in you already, your love tank needs to already be full before entering a relationship. Another person can only compliment that love.

The only relationship you are having at any given time is that between yourself and God, not the other person! The other person is only a reflection of God. He wants to see how you will love him when He’s hungry, when He’s sick, when He’s in need, even when He’s cantankerous. Do you remember the story in Matthew 25:31-40? Furthermore, the way you treat yourself is the way you will treat other people. If you are unloving towards yourself, impatient, and critical, that’s how you will treat other people.

Human beings go into relationships with such false expectations, facades, masks, hopes and dreams.

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Marriage is not a fantasy that you wish to come true. Contrary to popular belief you don’t just fall in love. Scientists believe that in the first stages of a relationship there is a chemical reaction that takes place between two individuals that produces an euphoric state–if there is any validity to that theory–however, when that feeling subsides both people face the harsh reality of each one’s faults and the baggage both brought into the union. What do you do then? The Bible teaches us that we do not base our decisions on emotions (Galatians 5:16-24). Emotions are fickle and are constantly changing. It takes a conscious choice (concerted effort) to continue to love someone despite what challenges a relationship may bring. Of course it takes a lot of work and learning how to. But the Bible is the blueprint of love!

God is love (1John 4:8). We first must establish a dependant, intimate relationship with God. Not by name only but by spending quality time with The Father, getting to know His heart, His mind, and His desires; what He wants for us. Isn’t that what we do when we’re courting someone? If we don’t learn how to love God first, we will never be able to love ourselves, let alone another person. He teaches us how to love unconditionally. Christ is the epitome of love (Isaiah 53:5). Once you perfect your heavenly relationship with The Father you’ll know what it feels like to have a loving, healthy, pure relationship with another human being.

Many have become bitter, and some have resulted to fornication because they are tired of waiting on God. The Bible says: “every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed,” (James 1:14) NKJV. Beloved, If you cannot be faithful to God how can you possibly be faithful to man who lives in this flesh, fallible and apt to disappoint?

Once you fall in love with Jesus, it is truly a love you have never felt before! It fills all voids, loneliness, emptiness, and pain. It completes you and gives you an unspeakable joy! It wraps its loving arms around you despite your failures and shortcomings. So I ask, why settle for a moment of pleasure when God can give you a lifetime of joy! As Kirk Whalum admonishes in his ode to Christ: “falling in love with Jesus was the best thing I ever done!” He is the love of your life!

Let me just say, God speaks to us differently. Perhaps if you did answer yes to the questions that were asked in the test, have worked on yourself and are sold out to Christ, and feel God has lead you in this direction; dating websites may work for you! However, I would strongly tread with caution!

If you no one has told you today, I love you! Happy Valentines day! ❤

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How to find the Love of your life!

Online dating websites seem to be the topic of much discussion today. I’m constantly bombarded with questions asking if I had tried it or will I try it. A Christian colleague recently asked me what did I think about online dating. He was freshly out of a bad relationship and had went back to his old habit of online dating. As I sat there and listened to story after humorous story of stalkers, weirdos, hook-ups, and heartbreaks–not to mention the money he spent for the service–his hope and faith seemed to lie in a few people he knew that had gottten married dating online.

I must say I am taken aback every time a Christian brother or sister goes the route of dating websites. Now they even have so called Christian dating websites. Website Christian Mingle is heavily targeting the Christian market. Makes one wonder if it is really concerned about the single Christian or is it preying on the vulnerability of Christians to push another dating website? A purported 84% of the population consider themselves Christian. Christendom means different things to different people: some are conservative in their beliefs and some are very liberal. What’s more, there are those who claim the title “Christian” but lifestyles are disturbingly contrary.

With such a wide array of different beliefs and attitudes towards Christianity, saints who put themselves in a position of online dating are setting themselves up as plenty of fish in a sea of sharks! Pun intended : ). This is dangerous water to tread as 1 peter 5:8 states “…Your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour ” (NKJV). Sure there are some resulting marriages perhaps, but that’s the minority, not the majority! The question is, how long will they last? Several of my Christian friends and acquaintances have tried online dating. Quite frankly, more than not. And what’s interesting is their stories all seem to correlate with one another–not the happily ever after ending at all.

Take Gina for instance (name changed to protect identity). As Gina and I conversed about online dating her objective was to debunk my partial theory. She proceeded to elaborate anecdotes of men she met and dated online. Emphatically proclaiming a few “good” men wined and dined her, flew her to see them or lavished her with gifts. Shockingly, some were married! She deemed to paint a very glamorous picture of her mail suitors. Gina said she frequently dated lots of men online and was having fun.

Something was telling me that there was more to the stories than she was willing to admit. So I proceeded from a different angle–catching her off guard–delving more into her behavior; what was in fact causing her to date so many men, online or otherwise? That’s when Pandora’s Box opened! The picture was not as pretty as she painted it to be after all.

In our session it was concluded that Gina did not even know what a healthy relationship looked like and freely admitted that the men who gave her those fabulous gifts ALL expected sexual favors in return. When she didn’t comply they all abandoned her. Even the ones she did have sex with eventually left her. After further probing she confessed that it had left her feeling angry and hurt. Furthermore, she realized the root of her problem was loneliness.

By conversation’s end, Gina was soaked in tears. Turns out, God had been trying to get her attention for some time. Ain’t God good! Needless to say, Gina changed her perspective on dating websites and is now on the road to recovery. Hallelujah!

The internet is the devil’s playground. He is particularly on the hunt, hiding behind the computer screen to viciously attack those who live for Christ.

Moreover, as Christians if we desire a mate shouldn’t our first response be to go to God and ask in prayer (Matthew 21:22), then patiently wait on Him? Shouldn’t we put our faith in God opposed to the internet? Surely He can pick a better mate for us than we can for ourselves.

Women are most vulnerable in this area. So many women in the church desire husbands and may feel like they have the career, the house, the car and all they are missing is a husband. Many I know have prayed earnestly for a mate and many are struggling with loneliness. But are you really ready for that divine mate? Are you really ready for God to answer your prayer for a husband/wife right now?

Let’s take a test to find out:
(Simply answer yes or no).

1. Is God priority in your life over your career, money, friends, sports?

2. Do you make it a priority every day to talk to and meditate with God?

3. Do you have a reciprocal relationship with God or do you order demands and requests and expect God to comply?

4. Do you go to God only when you are in trouble or when you need something? Moreover, is God an afterthought?

5. Do you get upset when you feel like God doesn’t answer your prayers– lashing out in anger and temper tantrums? “Why me’s” and “You dont love me’s”?

6. Is your desire for a mate stronger than your desire for a personal, intimate relationship with God?

7. Are you sold out for Christ? Is He truly the Love of your life?

8. Do you desire to be constantly in the presence of God worshiping Him, loving on Him. Meeting with Him in His Sanctuary?

9. Do you talk to Him (prayer) and listen to what He has to say back to you (Bible reading) even though it may not be what you want to hear or do?

10. Do you go to God first when problems arise or do you seek counsel from momma, family, or friends?

If you answered “no” to any one of these questions maybe it’s time to reevaluate your Love walk. The Bible says that we as Christians are the Bride (Rev 19:7-9), so then if we are the bride…Christ is our husband.
If you say you love God then you have a committed, covenant relationship with Him right? Ok, if Christ is your husband, how are you nurturing this relationship? Are you giving God your first fruits? Do you acknowledge and honor God upon waking? Is God the the apple of your eye as He says we are to Him (Zechariah 2:8)?

I’m going to conclude Part 1 here. I felt God had so much to say regarding this subject that while writing it it became quite lengthy. We will recommence with the second part tomorrow.

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