Tag: lonliness

Posted on

Come To Jesus Moment

“You f…… B…..!” Is the epithet he hurled at me. Did I get your attention? As people who faithfully follow Jesus we are not excluded from our share of anger, vitriol and harassment; if not even more. Christ believers are supposed to share the gospel of Christ and fulfill the call of The Great Commission by telling others about our redeeming Savior. Preachers admonish parishioners at church services worldwide on Sunday mornings to “tell others about Jesus!” I often think: What about those who do not want to be told about God? In today’s climate, I cannot tell you how many times telling others about the goodness of God met me with indifference, hatred and disdain. People are either atheist, agnostic, apatheist or new agers. Hey, different people follow different religions — I get that — and are as passionate about their beliefs as I am about mine. In a few instances, some people I spoke to even tried to get me to convert to their religion. More, other people that I spoke to were deeply hurt by “religious” people and ran as fast as they could away from anyone who uttered the name God. Then there are those who like to challenge your beliefs, undermine your knowledge in God, and corner you into a debate about religion. I’ve learned long ago not to debate God’s word. And then there are those whom I believe are actually tired, miserable, broken and overtaken by their sins but refuse to submit to God out of distrust and/or rebellion. Thus, they attack the “God” in you!

The person who made the offensive comment to me was someone I loved dearly. He was like a brother to me. You know the type of person that is very judgmental, condescending, rude, aggressive and confrontational? This describes my dear friend. He had practically driven away every one in his family and our circle of friends because of his behavior, but I refused to give up on him. “I will love him like Christ loved, and continue telling him about God,” is what I told myself. Nonetheless, at every meeting, dinner, get together with him I left feeling drained, insulted, berated, picked apart and belittled.

But this last meeting was on a whole nother level. It’s as if he came with an agenda to provoke me to respond to his antics. The cheerful person that I am, he began to attack my happiness asking me “Why are you smiling so much? There’s nothing to smile about!” Can you believe it? Someone’s mad at you for smiling! I quickly told him what’s inside reflects on the outside and would he rather I be miserable like him? I know … I know I probably shouldn’t have said that but I just could not believe what I was hearing. He criticized everything from God, my natural hair and character, to my joyful personality. Then it dawned on me how far God had brought me from a few years ago; He took away all my pain and replaced it with His joy! I then began sharing with my friend details of my background and the things God had brought me through, and telling him that’s where my joy comes from. Telling him about the goodness of God in my life seemed to make him even more confrontational. He started badgering religion, religious people and Jesus. I told him that I’m sorry that he feels that way but God is a redeemer and if he would just open up and try to get to know God his life could change too. He said he doesn’t need God and his life is fine without him.

I had to go there! … Albeit nicely. I told him the truth. I told him that his communication with others comes off as negative, aggressive and rude. Sure, we all have our bad days, but to live in a place of perpetual rudeness is a reflective character trait. I reminded him of a couple of people we know that he personally hurt deeply. He took no responsibility and shifted blame on everyone else. He then said that he was a good person and “does good” for others. I told him good works does not make up for the hurt and pain he leaves in his aftermath. I invited him to invite God into his life. I was then met with anger, harsh words, and berating. So much so, I had to walk away from this person whom I considered a dear friend. What truly has the world come to? If you’re smiling it’s fake. If you’re nice you have an ulterior motive. If you’re a Christian you’re hateful because you believe what the Bible says. It’s hard out here in these streets! The Bible forewarned of times such as these.

In Isaiah 5:20, the Bible warns of calling good evil and evil good.

By the time I got home I was in tears and had a pow-wow with God. “God, how could he talk to me like that? Why would he curse me out like that?” It was then God began to pour into my spirit how His Son Jesus was cursed, beaten, and murdered because He shared the good news. It was as if He asked me “Was I more important than His son? Was I better than His son?” If Jesus had to suffer persecution so will you, my child! Wow! It was a wake up call! I had to apologize for my own entitlement and shortsightedness.

How many times have we asked God to “use us” for His kingdom and the assignment does not come as we expect? Truthfully, many do as the aforementioned: question God and walk away from the gospel completely when they are deeply hurt. And truthfully speaking, it is not the person attacking you but the spirit in them. It is often because many people do not want to turn away from their sins, they have been hurt and are afraid to trust God, or they need to test the “God in you” because they need to know He’s real. They are really looking for something to believe in and need to know that this God you speak so highly of is really a redeemer. If we, who proclaim this Christ, buckle at every insult then it gives opposers the finger to mock God and question His power in our lives. I have had it happen time and time again. But what I felt God was speaking to me in this situation is that he used me to plant a seed of salvation. Many hurting people put on a tough exterior but deep down they are yearning for help. God is so loving, he hears their inward cries. When someone touches God’s heart, He usually sends many people to speak into their life.

Life is hard. Sin has hardened people, but our hearts must not become hardened.

This situation with my friend is what I call a ‘Come to Jesus moment.’ We who serve Christ often too have to come to Him and lay at his feet and cry as a little baby. Life is hard. Sin has hardened people, but our hearts must not become hardened. We must do as Paul admonishes,”fight the good fight of faith” and finish our race — bruises, scars, wounds and all!

Posted on

How to Find your soul mate

This is an excellent video by pastor Toure Roberts. Whatever your situation: waiting for a mate, in a relationship or divorced; Mr. Roberts offers excellent insight and counsel regarding dating that all singles need to hear before considering if a person is ‘The One.’ please click on the link below.

Posted on

Are you a Broken Vessel? 

And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make. “

Jeremiah 18: 4

Oh how this verse speaks to our human nature! As beings living in this flesh, we are indeed marred! God made us perfect in His own image (Gen. 1:27),  but we are marred beloved, by sin, hurt, pain, and rejection. Each entity slowly chipping away at the perfect creation God made us to be! Some of you have been so badly damaged by parents, family, friends, spouses, jobs, that you have become bitter, angry, despondant, broken; even suicidal!  

I know, I have been there! It has been a long process to see myself as the beautiful masterpiece that God designed me to be! To achieve that, you need the Peace of the Master — Jesus Christ! The Bible says that Jesus intercedes to the Father for us. (Romans 8:34). I love that! Even though Christ has left this physical earth, He loves us so much that He is still petitioning for us in spirit! So when we know that Beloved, we can be rest assured that God is changing us from glory to glory! (2 Corinthians 3:18).

I love when Jeremiah 18:6 says, “Oh house of Isreal, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the Lord. “Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel! God wants to use all of your disappointments, anger, frustrations, setbacks and strongholds to make you into a new vessel! Amen! He wants it all — your past, wrong thinking about yourself, a life that you deemed a failure; don’t hold onto it, let it go and put it in God’s hands! He wants to remake you, remold you, clean up your image, and make you new! He wants to give you beauty for ashes. And just like clay after it is formed, it has to dry into its mold; so too this Christian life is a process. You’re still being molded, you are not yet complete. 

Picasso’s artwork didn’t become famous by his first painting! If you feel like you are marred and broken, hold on … God is changing you into a new vessel! 

-Puah Neiel

Posted on

Should women pursue men? 

Upon having a discussion with a friend this past week, the conversation delved in to the proverbial:Should women pursue men? topic. My friend an advocate, me an adversary. After exchanging opinions back and forth, I decided I needed to research this topic a bit more from a Biblical standpoint and ascertain what God’s word says about it.  


Mark 10:6

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’

When we start from the very beginning of creation, we discern that God first created male then female; hence the order, Adam–then Eve. Next, let’s go on to Christian courting. I don’t say dating because I do not believe Christians should date multiple people at one time, but if he or she meets a godly prospect, the two should begin the process of getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage. 

Genesis 2: 22,24

And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Beloved, you will notice that most every Bible verse pertaining to man and woman, almost always LEAD with ‘the man.’ Moreover, as we examine the above verse in Gen 2, it firmly establishes the fact that God “brought the woman to the man.” It did not say that the woman went looking for the man or the woman had to find the man. Therefore, it backs up my theory that a woman shouldn’t go looking for a man, but God will put her in a situation, without her own effort, to meet her husband.  

A perfect story is that of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was Naomi’s daughter-in- law. Because Naomi’s husband and sons were killed, Ruth left Moab with Naomi to return to Judah. Boaz a relative of Naomi, owned a barley field in which Ruth worked. Boaz quickly noticed Ruth and inquired about her. For he was greatly smitten by Ruth, and ensured that she was safe,  protected and well taken care of. By the story’s end, Boaz bought Naomi’s land and along with it, won Ruth’s affection. 

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son. Ruth 4:13

Ruth was not only put in the position to meet her future husband, but also to become heir to the lineage of Christ. 

And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. Ruth 4:17 ESV.

Continuing, if a woman persues a man, she will never know if the man initially desired her, was initially attracted to her or would have chosen her; or if she’s just an option until he finds the woman of his dreams. In the above context, one can clearly deduce Ruth was Boaz’s dream woman. Not only was he mystified by her beauty, he also negotiated with the elders of the city to buy her mother-in-law’s land, and in turn won her love! He fought for her! I believe a woman devalues herself when she’s the pursuer of the relationship. I’m not talking about merely striking up a conversation with a gentleman if you happen to be in the same space, or letting a man know that you are interested, but more so I’m talking about women who are constantly calling, texting, nagging, stalking and pressuring male suitors into a relationship. What you are saying is, ‘I am desperate!’ Men can smell loneliness, desperation, and low-self esteem a mile away! 

This mode of thinking is shifting the natural order of relations between men and women that God divinely created; this in turn is reversing God’s laws. And, it is slowly weakening the male/female dynamic. Women are teaching men to be passive as opposed to being the aggressor, the hunter God created them to be. The male/female roles are slowly shifting, women are asking men out on dates, buying dinner, buying gifts and financially supporting men. In turn, this is creating a devaluing of the woman’s worth; her femininity, her mystery, her desirability, not to mention her bank account! Additionally, this behavior is deprogramming our young daughters to not have any self-worth or self-respect. It is teaching them to devalue themselves by persuing men as opposed to being persued; as opposed to knowing their value and worth, that when the right man does come along it will be an organic relationship where both parties want a mutually loving, respectful union, and not that of an unbalanced one where the woman is the one striving, suffering to maintain a man’s affections. 


Women need to be whole in themselves before looking for a man. How do you do that? By learning how to love God infinitely first, only then will you know how to truly love yourself; and most importantly, know what true love is. With so much love for herself, she will know that a true lady exudes confidence, allowing men to take notice of her. And, if the one she has her sights set on doesn’t acknowledge her, she has enough self-worth to know that this guy is not worth her valuable and precious time. More, that he doesn’t know the price of a masterpiece. Therefore, she stays high on her mantle, knowing that the right man will come along and know that this one is different, precious, rare; different from all the others, a true beauty and too costly to lose! This is what will constitute a long-lasting passionate marriage. 

Proverbs 18:32 says,

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

The way you start a relationship is the way it will end. Why start off soliciting a man and when he finds exactly the type of woman he’s looking for, dumpsf you. Christian or not, no one appreciates what comes too easily. Remember when you asked God for something and it wasn’t until years, maybe decades later before you got it, and the gratitude and appreciation you had for it?

The following are tell-tale signs that you are not whole:

1. Every time you go to social events, you scan the room for men, and  strategically try to put yourself in a man’s line of view or direct path.

2. You cannot enjoy time with friends, family without stating your desire to be married. 

3. You are jealous of other couples, or is overly critical of a man’s girlfriend/spouse.

4. Get depressed, cry a lot, critical of being single. 

5. Struggle with lust, masturbation, fornication. 

6. Thinks everything is a sign that you should be married: events, newspaper advertisements, passing by baby clothing or bridal stores by happenstance.  

7. Thinks that a man is the missing piece to your life. You haven’t finished school, established a career, are habitually unemployed, are an adult living at home with parents. Have no goals, ambition, or drive. 

8. Always giving examples of women who chased men and married them. 

9. If you have to have a man all the time, it means you don’t like being with yourself. 

10. If you don’t like being with yourself, nobody else will!


Whatever we think on, dwell on, will eventually surface. As a Christian woman you have to be very careful in selecting a mate because what shows up may not be from God. You may end up getting used, disrespected or taken advantage of. 

A woman who is truly whole looks like this:

She wakes up every morning, happy, content, and can’t wait to start her day. She is thriving in her career as well as her personal life. She is happy and always smiling. Her life is full and complete. She stays busy working in ministry, volunteering, making sure her children, family are well taken care of. She is strong in her faith. She helps out others wherever there’s a need. Her life is full and has value. She barely has time for herself. She encourages and uplifts others. It’s not  about her, but loving the souls around her. She never complains. She always puts herself last: last to leave work, last to be served, last to eat dinner. She’s a giver; a giver of advice, time, love, money and hugs. Others wonder in amazement of her endless energy and inner beauty. She gets up the next day and does it all over again. 

Women, are you whole?

-Puja Nagual      


Posted on

Rooted in God

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17:7,8

You may be reading this right now and and are going through your own personal storm. We go through different seasons in our lives and perhaps at this current moment your season is sickness, joblessness, loneliness, an impending bill that you don’t know how it’s going to get paid, or where the money is going to come from. Perhaps your season is hopelessness, depression and despair; no matter how much you pray or read the Bible, sadness glooms over you. Perhaps your season is a wayward loved one; a rebellious child, a cheating spouse, a backslidden relative, or a cantankerous boss. 

Beloved, the verse in Jeremiah admonishes us to be like a tree planted by the water. Water represents peace, stillness and calm. Water is soothing and relaxing. It says it “sends out its roots by the stream.” The steam is Jesus! The verse is saying to grab a hold of God. He is the peace that will still the storm. More so, not only cling to Him, but be rooted and grounded in Him! That no matter what way the wind blows, your faith, trust, and livelihood will be in Jesus Christ! Beloved, even though torrential rain may pour down, your leaves will remain green and intact. If we define green it is stated as: 

The color of life, renewal, nature, and energy. It is associated with growth, harmony, freshness, safety, fertility, and environment. 

It means that whatever season you go through, God is right there with you! You may face horrendous trials, but God will give you the strength, courage, and boldness to go through it! And the best part, the verse says you won’t cease to bear fruit. While you are going through these trials, God is producing sweet fruit in you: patience, long suffering, forgiveness. Joy! Joy in the midst of your trials! Amen! 

James 1:2-4 says, My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, Knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.


@healingbalmcafe

%d bloggers like this: