Tag: dating

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LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD

First off, Happy New Year family! I am so excited and expecting with open arms the blessings of God this new year! Upon pondering over my life regarding relationships, I’m so thankful for God’s faithfulness. I’ve been badly scarred and wounded by past relationships, as many of you. Albeit, God transforms the soul through a process of pain and suffering, purging and breaking. It is indeed painful, but at the same time liberating, spiritually renewing; and contrarily refreshing. Refreshing because though your soul wounds are deep and far reaching, God’s love is ever reaching down, laying His Sovereign hands on your soul, and healing each one seriatimly.


When I’m cut, I want to heal someone else.


Beloved, your hurts, wounds, fear, and pain are all hidden behind pride, ego, self-reliance, and self-preservation. We are all wounded animals. When we feel threatened, we viciously attack; whether the attack is physical, emotional, or silent. Silent attack is the worst because you shut down, cut others off and build a heart wall. The more hurt you experience, the higher you build a wall of protection. The problem with walls is that although you’re protecting your heart from pain, you’re also preventing the love you most desire to reach you. More, you’re preventing God’s love: Agape love from penetrating your soul.

You won’t know this is hidden in your soul until God divinely ordains situations and people to illuminate them. And that often occurs through channels of arguments, disagreements, disrespect, and rejection. Ahh… now the heart work can begin:says the Lord Almighty! But sadly, we often reject the work that’s required to heal our soul. We turn to others, run away, shut down emotionally or drown our sorrows in outward stimuli. All the while the soul is still bleeding. Most think conflict is a bad thing. Everything has its duality. In life we must always look for good in the bad. Conflict forces you to know more about the other person. It forces you to learn their love language, communication style, needs, wants, desires, values; and most importantly, it forces you to learn more about yourself: your strengths, weaknesses, resilience, and faith in God. And, if you value the relationship, conflict will recalibrate your inner man to compassionately, lovingly, and humbly make adjustments for the betterment of the other person. Ahh… that’s true love! The Bible says by doing so, you’re fulfilling the law of Christ, Galatians 6:2; and He commands us to love one another how He loves us, John 13:34-35. Sadly, 40% of marriages end in divorce. Even Christian ones. Beloved, we must put on our armor and fight for God’s divine love: Agape love in our relationships. And that is putting down our pride, ego, control, and stubborn will; washing others feet in humility-Like Jesus. We are all wounded soldiers, but by all means, we are to lift up our brethern on the battle field and carry them to safety. Suffering long with them. This is the epicenter of a Godly relationship. When you’re fighting for love, the devil is losing!

Continue reading “LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD”
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New Year 2016 Prophecy Part 2

In continuation from the last post, I would like to futher explore what I feel God is speaking to singles this year; as well as those that are separated from a spouse or those who feel isolated within a marriage. 

I am a girl’s girl! I love having friendships and bonding with my fellow sisters. I love that women can come together in times of need to edify, encourage, and uplift one another. I love that my friends and I don’t take for granted the need to bond and break bread together. Oftentimes when we come together we cry, laugh, and share anecdotes of embarrassing moments, mistakes, regrets, courting and of course men! It is out of some of these very intimate conversations that I feel led to write on the subject regarding singles. While this post isn’t entirely for women, there are many men that may identify with and learn from this text. 

It seems as if dating and sex are the elephants in the room at many churches. There, I said it! Often there are ministries devoted to couples, single moms, youth, seniors, even prison ministries but a consensus that I find that is often lacking in many churches is a ministry devoted strictly to middle aged singles. Yes, there are some churches with singles’ ministries but sadly many of them are simply singles’ retreats that don’t address the underlying issues many single people face: dating, lust, and sex! 

Many singles are struggling in this area and sadly are resorting to fornication, pornography, lust, and masturbation while singing in the choir, ushering, and working in ministry because they feel their specific concerns aren’t being met corporately within the church. This is the most common area where many women secretly confide in me for answers. One woman told me she had been single for years and was simply tired of waiting on God! Sadly, she started a sexual relationship with a young man and it ended horribly. Beloved, God knows best! Wait on His timing! It seems as if this subject is taboo in church, which should not be. If there are any clergy reading this post, I admonish you in your prayer time to ask God how to incorporate a singles’ ministry into your church or if there is a singles’ ministry, ask God how to get to know the needs and concerns of its members and restructure a plan to meet their needs.  

First off, let me start by saying, according to the Bible, I believe single people should not have sex until marriage. But because of underlying root problems many singles are forgoing this belief whether because of agnosticism, pop culture, loneliness, peer pressure, or a need to feel loved and accepted. And that is what I would like to address today.

LET’S EXPLORE THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM

Beloved, many singles, even though some sit under sound doctrine at church are fornicating Saturday night but are Holier than thou on Sunday morning. Because of these dalliances babies are born out of wedlock, some are committing adultery, some are contracting STD’s and sadly, some are aborting babies to hide their sin. All for what? Love, loneliness, a need to feel wanted, a feeling of rejection? All of these key factors play an important role in this behavior, but the most important I believe, is rejection! Let’s delve exactly what rejection is and the ramifications caused by it. Rejection is a feeling of unacceptance and exclusion by another party or parties. In the spirit realm, it manifests as a spirit that attaches itself to people and if not recognized and cast out can cause many to live unfulfilled and loveless lives. Some people carry a spirit of rejection because of many different factors:

▪️Rejection in the womb.

Some people were rejected in the womb at birth. Some women who got pregnant didn’t want the child therefore spoke a curse of rejection over their child’s life, either verbally or emotionally. Some women tried to abort a child, but for whatever reason had the child. Some women put their child up for adoption. Many adoptees, even though some have been raised by a loving family, desperately search for birth parents because they still feel unloved and unattached–spirit of rejection. Beloved, rejection in the womb is a spirit projected onto a person from birth that if not cast out will cause a person to go through their whole life, unbeknownst to them, desperately looking for someone to love them.

▪️Rejection as a child.

 Some children were rejected by parents, relatives, or peers and it left an indelible mark on their emotional state. Some people felt rejected by their parents because the parents perhaps worked more on their jobs than spending time with them. Some people, their parents were in the home but only talked to them when scolding or beating them; or their presence was in the home physically but not emotionally–they didn’t communicate with the child.  These parents never told their kids they loved them or showed them any type of affection. In continuation, many people were told that they were not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and that led to very low self-esteem. Some people were called names or teased by relatives or peers because of a birth trait, or physical trait that left them feeling insecure, indifferent or unworthy. Beloved, the spirit behind these hurtful words told them that they were not good enough. Therefore many have spent their lives trying to be accepted, trying to measure up, trying to seek the approval of people who’re often unworthy of them.  

▪️Self rejection. 

Beloved, many curse themselves with their own mouth because of what they believe about themselves. Because of bullying by peers as mentioned above, some will carry the insulting words in their mind well into adult hood, look into the mirror and pick themselves apart: I’m not pretty enough to get the mate I want, I’m not smart enough, I’m too fat among other self-hating thoughts that people tell themselves daily. Beloved, if you believe these things about yourself you will believe others share this same view about you and it is simply not the truth! There is a spirit of vanity in today’s culture that is causing many to measure themselves up against celebrity standards. Contrarily, some people fall on the opposite side of the spectrum. Rejection has caused some to exhibit a false sense of pride. No man or woman is good enough for them. They may be very attractive and have everything going for them, but this spirit of rejection drives potential suitors away because internally they really don’t accept themselves. It’s a spirit of perfection. How you see you is how others will see you, despite appearance. Beauty comes from within. People gravitate towards a beautiful spirit. Work on yourself internally first. Study what God’s word says about you. Psalms 139. Begin to speak life over yourself, not death. Proverbs 18:21. You have to learn how to accept yourself before anyone else will. Until you rebuke this spirit of rejection and accept yourself, you’ll never attract your divine mate because this spirit of rejection will chase them away. I also advise you to seek out deliverance ministries and allow men of God to lay hands, anoint with oil and pray for you concerning this area.  

▪️Many feel God has rejected them. 

Beloved, I have talked to people who strongly feel that God rejected them because parents abandoned them as children, they lost a loved one or a spouse cheated on, abused them and/or walked out on them. In their minds they think God is their enemy, that He has cursed them, or rejected them. That cannot be further from the truth. In this life we all have our share of heartache and pain, but many internalize theirs with a narrow-minded subjective view. Let this type of thinking go. God loves you and wants the best for you! Recognize who the real enemy is: satan. The Bible says he comes to rob, steal and kill. John 10:10. Some people refuse to believe that satan or a devil exists. He does, and sadly he is destroying many lives, some because of choices made or doors left open to sin, yet God is still getting the blame! Beloved, God gives us free will to choose. Some choose wrongly then blame God. God is speaking restoration this year. Restore your relationship with Him. Let go of the anger and animosity you feel towards God and allow Him to heal you!

GOD LOVES YOU

Beloved this spirit of rejection has destroyed many of lives. The need to be accepted has caused many women to turn to prostitution, the sex industry, drugs, and live lascivious lifestyles all because they have not dealt with the root cause of their problem. As well, men by trying to find love through money, status, wrong relationships and many sexual partners, but to name but a few.

GOD IS RESTORING SINGLES

God wants you to know that you are worthy! He loves you! He wants to restore you in this season. Get behind the root of your behavior; whether it’s low self-worth, loneliness, abandonment, or rejection. Find out why it is you behave the way you do in regards to relationships. When you do I guarantee God will meet you where you are and the healing will begin. You can’t take this word nonchalantly but run with it! Help him heal you to be able to love the way He created you to love: in honesty, purity, truth, and transparently.

After you have dealt with the root of your problem, you have to know what you want, you cannot be double minded. One minute you want to be married the next minute you don’t because of past hurts or fear. Whatever you want, be firm in that position and pray for God to bless you! God says make up your mind then I will bless you! Because of anger, resentment, pain, and past hurts, (some decades old) many people’s relationships have been stunted, wombs have been closed, hopes, dreams have died and weddings have been put on hold. Deal with the root of your problem, only then can God grow holy, pure, beautiful, loving relationships in 2016.

-Puah Neiel

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Overcoming Loneliness and Isolation

I was made a servant of the gospel by God’s special gift, which He gave me through the working of His power. Ephesian 3:7

The above verse is commentary from Apostle Paul, mentioning his implantation in God’s kingdom as a disciple of the most high. Paul says in the aforementioned verse, I was “ made a servant” of the gospel of Jesus Christ, not that he went in his own volition or was a follower of Jesus. Quite the opposite! Many who are familiar with Paul’s story knows that before his conversion from Saul, he was a diabolical opponent of Jesus’ teachings and followers of Christ. Paul persecuted and killed those who followed Christ and deemed to eradicate the movement of the gospel. It was on the road to Damascus that Jesus appeared to Paul and reprimanded him for persecuting him, closed his eyes of darkness and thus gave him the gift to see (Acts 9:4-15).

So what does this so called “gift” have to do with loneliness and isolation? In Ephesians 4:7, Paul says that each one of us has received a special gift in proportion to what Christ has given. You see beloved, God didn’t just strike Paul blind, I believe the blindness was a metaphor for Paul’s spiritual darkness. Paul thought he was doing a noble, lawful thing by persecuting followers of Christ. He thought he was preserving the current religious laws of the land. God shut paul’s eyes to show him the evil, wicked, and immoral life he was living through pride, self-righteousness, and murder. And God, through Ananias, revealed to Paul that the only way His eyes could be truly opened to the spirit realm and receive true sight is to be touched by God! (Acts 9:12). Even Ananias pleaded with the Lord that this man was too wicked and evil! But I love how the Lord says in Acts 9:15, “Go your way, for he is my chosen vessel to bear my name before nations and kings, and the children of Israel.

Beloved, God chose Paul as his disciple, opened his eyes to a deeper understanding of the things of God that most Christ followers at that time couldn’t comprehend, and gave him many spiritual gifts. One being a gift of deliverance (or exorcism), when he cast out a spirit of divination in a girl in the village whom merchants were using for profit. (Acts 16:18). But the irony is that with these spiritual gifts will come loneliness and isolation! Even on Paul’s spiritual journey there were moments of loneliness and isolation. Recall when Mark deserted Paul and Barnabas when they were spreading the gospel in Pamphylia, which later caused contention between Paul and his cohort Barnabas and they too would eventually part ways.

Ephesians 4:11

It was He who gave gifts to mankind; he appointed some to be pastors and teachers. (12) He did this to prepare all God’s people for the work of Christian service, in order to build up the body of Christ. (GNB).

How many of you God has given a gift and you denied it because of  your own personal dreams, goals, or worldly ambitions. Or, how many of you have denied His gift because you feel like you aren’t qualified to represent God like Paul, or do not have your life together. But does not God say in 1 Corinthians 1:27, that He uses things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful (NLT). More, some even deny the gift because of concern with pleasing spouse or family. 1 Corinthians 7:33 says, a married man concerns himself with worldly matters, because he wants to please his wife; and he is pulled in two directions. And more — this part many women do not want to hear: 1 Corinthians 7:34, says an unmarried woman or a virgin concerns herself with the Lord’s work, because she wants to be dedicated both body and spirit. There are so many woman who are depressed and feel alone because they want to get married and feel like God does not favor them because He has not given them a husband. I speak to many of these women and a common consensus, I find, is a lack of Biblical study, or even spending time with the Lord. Many, men and women, do not spend intimate personal time with Christ to learn His heart, His leading, His direction for finding a mate. They have a void within themselves, an emptiness that they think only a man or woman can fill when Jesus is already waiting at the altar; He already fell in love with you, but you’re trying to fill that love outside of Him! I wonder if women and men would concern themselves with the Lord’s work and be dedicated to Him in body and spirit first, how many would attract mates who are drawn to them because of their worship of Christ – because they are operating in their gift! Amen!

More, I find that the people God does truly call or give a spiritual gift, often do not want to go! It’s the ones that God does not call that are the ones that are happy to let you know with titles of a Dr., prophet, prophetess, a preacher a pastor etc. before their names. Sadly, some go to push their own agenda, or propaganda. But those that are truly called to proclaim the gospel, there can be, in the beginning, an inward struggle. It takes a letting go of the person’s plans, goals and ambitions; laying down of their life to follow Christ. Beloved that is not an easy task! The Bible says in 2 Timothy 3:12, that everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted! Who in their natural mind would want to sign up to be persecuted? That’s why it is a struggle for some! Beloved, the spirits that operate in this world are wicked and evil, you are going to be persecuted anyway, so why not for Christ? The devil will only give you temporary satisfaction. The devil makes deals. Whatever he gives you he wants to collect something else  for it in return!

Romans 11:29 says,

For the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable!

Amen! That means that when God gives it to you, He expects nothing in return! The “gifts” of God are irrevocable! Many people want to be in control of their own lives and the lives of others, so they turn to dealing in the occult to get gifts from the devil. You best believe whatever satan gives you he wants a return on his investment! Why do you think you read about so many people involved in these types of practices who commit suicide or murder, or perform other bizarre behaviors that are incomprehensible? Beloved, there is a spiritual realm and it is real! Granted, when a person submits to God’s call, as 2 Timothy 3:12 says, will suffer persecution because the devil will do everything he can to stop the Gospel of Jesus Christ; that will involve times of loneliness, rejection and isolation. Some people will simply think you have become too religious, some will now feel uncomfortable around you; feeling like they can no longer do things around you that they used to do in fear of judgement, and other times God will allow periods of being alone to teach you how to hear His voice; to teach you how to love Him, and to perfect your gifts.

Beloved, that’s why we must constantly do our part and work on our personal relationship with Christ. Work on learning His heart, what pleases Him, and learning His ways. If not, we will turn inward and blame Christ and develop and angry attitude towards Him simply because we don’t understand with our limited thinking. We will begin to blame God for our mishaps when the enemy is simply the devil, and not God!

As people called in Christ, God has given us a gift. In Ephesians 3:3, Paul says that God revealed to him the “Secret plan.” I love that verse because those die-hard followers of Christ know this secret! No matter how much they are persecuted by satan and his cohorts, they keep fighting because God has opened their eyes in the spirit realm. Like gifts, anyone can obtain the secret but some are too busy with the world’s system: money, recognition, power, wealth. More, some are just too busy with the ordinary day-to-day goings on of life to get His secrets or gifts to defeat the enemies in their lives! It has to be a strong desire to live holy and righteous and to want to know the truth of God to really receive this gift. Paul says in Ephesians 3:5, that God has revealed this secret by the spirit to His Holy apostles and prophets. Sadly, some people in church don’t have the gifts, though they sit Sunday after Sunday in their designated church pews only socializing with their inner church circles, while new converts are often isolated and lost in a new environment to eventually stop attending church altogether. Some are even so concerned about recognition within the church that they neglect their own family’s needs and do not even call or check on sick family members or neighbors in their neighborhood outside of their church, outside of their church ministry or without receiving recognition. Sadly, these have not yet received the gift! I say yet because beloved, I have been on both sides of the fence. I am so thankful to God that He has lifted the veil, and opened my eyes like Paul, and it is only because of deep prayer, and wanting God’s heart that He gave me true vision!

It is truly a gift to be sensitive to others’ needs. You never know what people are going through or if one day they may decide to take their lives because they feel like no one cares. Even if people may slight our greetings or invitations we must put our own feelings aside and not let a spirit of rejection enter our hearts and become embittered or angry. We must keep reaching out to God’s people, despite rejection. And this I will tell you takes much patience and diligent prayer. Somehow, we have turned into a me me generation. What are people doing for me, or how can this benefit me. I will be the first to vouch for this because I was this way for years. But what I had noticed was it was a generational curse passed down my lineage. It was a spirit of pride operating in my family and I was determined to break the cycle!

Moreover, sometimes God will allow loneliness and isolation so you have no other choice but to go to Him; so you have no choice but to cry out to Him! When God is ready to elevate you to the next level in your spiritual growth, He will remove the cushion of family, friends, and sometimes church members! It will seem like in the physical everyone is acting up or abandoning you, but in the spirit God is pulling up the weeds, planting new soil, killing the infestation of dead religion! — creating new fruit in you! A servant that is going to be used by God must first learn how to serve. Nowadays, everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame, everyone wants to be in the spotlight without first learning humility; how to cater to their brothers and sisters’ needs first. Sadly, with the resources of social media, I believe it is exacerbating selfishness, self-marketing and self-promotion. As humans we are so driven by our ego and the constant need of validation, recognition to prove ourselves, our worth or talent. Hard we may try, we still fall victim to the world’s propaganda and ideologies, when God calls us to be the exact opposite: to validate others, build up others’ self-esteem; help others to recognize their gifts and help nurture it! We look at shepherds as leading the flock, but in essence shepherds serve their flock: nurturing, caring for, and feeding each and everyone.

If you are to be a shepherd for Christ, you must grasp this lesson. Get it! Ingrain it! If we are to be used of Christ, we must put ourselves aside; our egos, and serve God’s people! I’m not just talking about in church, but in everyday life. Serve your family first: call your family, check in with them if you haven’t heard from them in a while – not text or email, but be a compassionate voice on the other end of the line. Serve at your job by being a listening ear to a despondent co-worker. Serve a person on the bus by giving up your seat, and showing the love and generosity of Christ. Serve your neighbors by introducing yourself, and letting them know you are available should they ever need anything. Beloved, that’s showing the heart of God and using your gifts! Serve from a place of humility, lowliness, not self-validation, recognition; putting others before ourselves, their needs, wants – most, putting God’s love before our own need for love. It was once said, “whatever you need, give it away.” Beloved, that’s how you truly overcome loneliness and isolation. Give yours away! It’s hard, I know because we all want to feel loved and needed, but for some of us, God has made us self-sustainers and has given us his self-sustaining love that we grasp stronger than most. These that understand this love in a deeper more profound way, He calls to spread that love to others who feel lonely and unloved; those who are weaker in the faith.

The problem is we began to get jealous of God’s love for others and turn inward and ask, “what about me, Lord?” When God has equipped us with all the love we will ever need in Him! We just have to learn how to tap into it!

So today I look at my Christian walk through new eyes, a new perspective. God calls us to go out and feed His sheep, only then will we cure our own loneliness!

-Puah Neiel

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Should women pursue men? 

Upon having a discussion with a friend this past week, the conversation delved in to the proverbial:Should women pursue men? topic. My friend an advocate, me an adversary. After exchanging opinions back and forth, I decided I needed to research this topic a bit more from a Biblical standpoint and ascertain what God’s word says about it.  


Mark 10:6

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’

When we start from the very beginning of creation, we discern that God first created male then female; hence the order, Adam–then Eve. Next, let’s go on to Christian courting. I don’t say dating because I do not believe Christians should date multiple people at one time, but if he or she meets a godly prospect, the two should begin the process of getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage. 

Genesis 2: 22,24

And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Beloved, you will notice that most every Bible verse pertaining to man and woman, almost always LEAD with ‘the man.’ Moreover, as we examine the above verse in Gen 2, it firmly establishes the fact that God “brought the woman to the man.” It did not say that the woman went looking for the man or the woman had to find the man. Therefore, it backs up my theory that a woman shouldn’t go looking for a man, but God will put her in a situation, without her own effort, to meet her husband.  

A perfect story is that of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth was Naomi’s daughter-in- law. Because Naomi’s husband and sons were killed, Ruth left Moab with Naomi to return to Judah. Boaz a relative of Naomi, owned a barley field in which Ruth worked. Boaz quickly noticed Ruth and inquired about her. For he was greatly smitten by Ruth, and ensured that she was safe,  protected and well taken care of. By the story’s end, Boaz bought Naomi’s land and along with it, won Ruth’s affection. 

So Boaz took Ruth, and she became his wife. And he went in to her, and the LORD gave her conception, and she bore a son. Ruth 4:13

Ruth was not only put in the position to meet her future husband, but also to become heir to the lineage of Christ. 

And the women of the neighborhood gave him a name, saying, “A son has been born to Naomi.” They named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David. Ruth 4:17 ESV.

Continuing, if a woman persues a man, she will never know if the man initially desired her, was initially attracted to her or would have chosen her; or if she’s just an option until he finds the woman of his dreams. In the above context, one can clearly deduce Ruth was Boaz’s dream woman. Not only was he mystified by her beauty, he also negotiated with the elders of the city to buy her mother-in-law’s land, and in turn won her love! He fought for her! I believe a woman devalues herself when she’s the pursuer of the relationship. I’m not talking about merely striking up a conversation with a gentleman if you happen to be in the same space, or letting a man know that you are interested, but more so I’m talking about women who are constantly calling, texting, nagging, stalking and pressuring male suitors into a relationship. What you are saying is, ‘I am desperate!’ Men can smell loneliness, desperation, and low-self esteem a mile away! 

This mode of thinking is shifting the natural order of relations between men and women that God divinely created; this in turn is reversing God’s laws. And, it is slowly weakening the male/female dynamic. Women are teaching men to be passive as opposed to being the aggressor, the hunter God created them to be. The male/female roles are slowly shifting, women are asking men out on dates, buying dinner, buying gifts and financially supporting men. In turn, this is creating a devaluing of the woman’s worth; her femininity, her mystery, her desirability, not to mention her bank account! Additionally, this behavior is deprogramming our young daughters to not have any self-worth or self-respect. It is teaching them to devalue themselves by persuing men as opposed to being persued; as opposed to knowing their value and worth, that when the right man does come along it will be an organic relationship where both parties want a mutually loving, respectful union, and not that of an unbalanced one where the woman is the one striving, suffering to maintain a man’s affections. 


Women need to be whole in themselves before looking for a man. How do you do that? By learning how to love God infinitely first, only then will you know how to truly love yourself; and most importantly, know what true love is. With so much love for herself, she will know that a true lady exudes confidence, allowing men to take notice of her. And, if the one she has her sights set on doesn’t acknowledge her, she has enough self-worth to know that this guy is not worth her valuable and precious time. More, that he doesn’t know the price of a masterpiece. Therefore, she stays high on her mantle, knowing that the right man will come along and know that this one is different, precious, rare; different from all the others, a true beauty and too costly to lose! This is what will constitute a long-lasting passionate marriage. 

Proverbs 18:32 says,

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

The way you start a relationship is the way it will end. Why start off soliciting a man and when he finds exactly the type of woman he’s looking for, dumpsf you. Christian or not, no one appreciates what comes too easily. Remember when you asked God for something and it wasn’t until years, maybe decades later before you got it, and the gratitude and appreciation you had for it?

The following are tell-tale signs that you are not whole:

1. Every time you go to social events, you scan the room for men, and  strategically try to put yourself in a man’s line of view or direct path.

2. You cannot enjoy time with friends, family without stating your desire to be married. 

3. You are jealous of other couples, or is overly critical of a man’s girlfriend/spouse.

4. Get depressed, cry a lot, critical of being single. 

5. Struggle with lust, masturbation, fornication. 

6. Thinks everything is a sign that you should be married: events, newspaper advertisements, passing by baby clothing or bridal stores by happenstance.  

7. Thinks that a man is the missing piece to your life. You haven’t finished school, established a career, are habitually unemployed, are an adult living at home with parents. Have no goals, ambition, or drive. 

8. Always giving examples of women who chased men and married them. 

9. If you have to have a man all the time, it means you don’t like being with yourself. 

10. If you don’t like being with yourself, nobody else will!


Whatever we think on, dwell on, will eventually surface. As a Christian woman you have to be very careful in selecting a mate because what shows up may not be from God. You may end up getting used, disrespected or taken advantage of. 

A woman who is truly whole looks like this:

She wakes up every morning, happy, content, and can’t wait to start her day. She is thriving in her career as well as her personal life. She is happy and always smiling. Her life is full and complete. She stays busy working in ministry, volunteering, making sure her children, family are well taken care of. She is strong in her faith. She helps out others wherever there’s a need. Her life is full and has value. She barely has time for herself. She encourages and uplifts others. It’s not  about her, but loving the souls around her. She never complains. She always puts herself last: last to leave work, last to be served, last to eat dinner. She’s a giver; a giver of advice, time, love, money and hugs. Others wonder in amazement of her endless energy and inner beauty. She gets up the next day and does it all over again. 

Women, are you whole?

-Puja Nagual      


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How To Find The Love Of Your Life!: Part 2 #Singles #HappyValentinesday #Love #Soulmate #Valentine

20130214-130548.jpg
First off, I would like to begin with another test: go back and answer every question in Part 1 again, this time replace the name “God” with the name of your spouse or significant other.

The reason I asked you to reanswer the aforementioned questions is to get you to think about your romantic relationships, if you are in one. And, if you’re not to examine your behavior when you were previously in a relationship. Again, if you answered “no” to any of the questions, really, are you prepared for a divine mate?

The vertical relationship with God is paramount. Until you perfect this relationship, you will never know how to love within a horizontal relationship! Think about it…God consummated this love by dying on the cross for us! Beloved, God is a person. When you learn how to love God first, then all other relationships will take on that precedent of love.

So many profess to love God but live a fruitless life. They have their own agenda’s, plans, goals and God is really on the back burner. They have a self-centered view of what love should look like or be like. When you really dissected it it’s based on past hurts, failures, fear, selfishness. And, oftentimes pride.

The truth of the matter is some people don’t even love themselves. And quite sadly, because of life’s dissapointment’s, feel like God doesn’t love them either. Here in lies the problem…you can’t give away what you do not have! If you don’t love yourself how can you possibly love someone else? In many relationships today, people are yearning for love from another person and want someone else to make them happy! They want the other person to make them feel good about themselves. Beloved, you need to have love in you already, your love tank needs to already be full before entering a relationship. Another person can only compliment that love.

The only relationship you are having at any given time is that between yourself and God, not the other person! The other person is only a reflection of God. He wants to see how you will love him when He’s hungry, when He’s sick, when He’s in need, even when He’s cantankerous. Do you remember the story in Matthew 25:31-40? Furthermore, the way you treat yourself is the way you will treat other people. If you are unloving towards yourself, impatient, and critical, that’s how you will treat other people.

Human beings go into relationships with such false expectations, facades, masks, hopes and dreams.

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Marriage is not a fantasy that you wish to come true. Contrary to popular belief you don’t just fall in love. Scientists believe that in the first stages of a relationship there is a chemical reaction that takes place between two individuals that produces an euphoric state–if there is any validity to that theory–however, when that feeling subsides both people face the harsh reality of each one’s faults and the baggage both brought into the union. What do you do then? The Bible teaches us that we do not base our decisions on emotions (Galatians 5:16-24). Emotions are fickle and are constantly changing. It takes a conscious choice (concerted effort) to continue to love someone despite what challenges a relationship may bring. Of course it takes a lot of work and learning how to. But the Bible is the blueprint of love!

God is love (1John 4:8). We first must establish a dependant, intimate relationship with God. Not by name only but by spending quality time with The Father, getting to know His heart, His mind, and His desires; what He wants for us. Isn’t that what we do when we’re courting someone? If we don’t learn how to love God first, we will never be able to love ourselves, let alone another person. He teaches us how to love unconditionally. Christ is the epitome of love (Isaiah 53:5). Once you perfect your heavenly relationship with The Father you’ll know what it feels like to have a loving, healthy, pure relationship with another human being.

Many have become bitter, and some have resulted to fornication because they are tired of waiting on God. The Bible says: “every man is tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed,” (James 1:14) NKJV. Beloved, If you cannot be faithful to God how can you possibly be faithful to man who lives in this flesh, fallible and apt to disappoint?

Once you fall in love with Jesus, it is truly a love you have never felt before! It fills all voids, loneliness, emptiness, and pain. It completes you and gives you an unspeakable joy! It wraps its loving arms around you despite your failures and shortcomings. So I ask, why settle for a moment of pleasure when God can give you a lifetime of joy! As Kirk Whalum admonishes in his ode to Christ: “falling in love with Jesus was the best thing I ever done!” He is the love of your life!

Let me just say, God speaks to us differently. Perhaps if you did answer yes to the questions that were asked in the test, have worked on yourself and are sold out to Christ, and feel God has lead you in this direction; dating websites may work for you! However, I would strongly tread with caution!

If you no one has told you today, I love you! Happy Valentines day! ❤

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