Some women may have dated different men over the course of their lifetime–vice versa–and may have noticed that each partner exhibited some of the same characteristics. Many in dysfunctional or unhealthy relationships cannot understand why they keep attracting the same kind of person. The answer lies partly in your spirit identifying with the other person’s spirit (meaning that both people are operating on the same spiritual frequency), but most importantly, the connection is sealed when the relationship is consummated. When you have a sexual relationship with another person, you feel a strong attachment to them because your souls have been joined to each other. Even though you may have broken up with the person, if you have not prayed over your connection to them, you have not broken up with the spirit that is operating in them! Thus, every man or woman you date thereafter will be a different physical body, but the same spirit following you through each relationship. It is called a familiar spirit.
That’s why the Bible puts such emphasis on fornication, immorality and adultery. We were not created to have sex outside of marriage. The woman was created physically from a man’s rib (Genesis 2:22), but spiritually from a man’s soul! The Bible says when a man and woman marry, they will become “one flesh,” because their souls have become conjoined. This broken covenant is the result of sexual disease, out of wedlock pregnancy, break down of the family structure, and emotional discord because of rebellion against God’s word.
“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:6-9).
Moreover, when you commit adultery, you are not only physically sleeping with someone’s husband/wife, but you are also copulating with the spirit of cheating, the spirit of lying, and the spirit of dishonesty! Therefore, you have made an agreement in the spirit realm with whatever characteristics this person has in his or her spirit. If we define copulating: it means connected or joined. Therefore beloved, you have “connected” the spirits to your soul. Those spirits are now a part of who you are! You made an agreement with them when you opened the door to sin. Because of the submission to sin in one area of your life, you will be given to lying, cheating and dishonesty in other areas of your life. You have heard many a wives or husbands of cheating spouses utter, “He or she has changed,” they aren’t the same person as they were when we first got married.” The cheating spouse will result to telling lie after lie, and manipulating scheme after scheme to cover his or her tracks. They will begin to operate out of character because they are under demonic subjection. In other words, their soul is being ruled by these spirits.
Moreover, abused women often find themselves selecting the same mate over and over again because they have entered into a soul agreement with an abusive, violent, controlling or manipulative spirit. Oftentimes, these soul ties are made before a woman is even born; by the parents. In most cases the mother has married an abusive or controlling man, and the spirit has been passed down her lineage to her daughter. A lot of women feel guilty because they cannot understand why they keep choosing the same type of man, but in actuality this spirit is the one pursuing them! It is called a seducing spirit. If women are not aware of a controlling and abusive pattern they will keep entering these same type of relationships. A woman who has been in previous abusive relationships has to begin to make a conscious effort to pay attention to the type of behavior patterns a potential male suitor exhibits. Unfortunately, many women will deem this behavior acceptable because that’s the male example they were shown growing up in the home. It is true, many women marry replicas of their fathers! Most importantly, an abused woman must do a lot of spiritual work to break this generational curse, and sever ties with this type of spirit. It will take working on one’s self esteem, self worth, and learning to love oneself first. Whether it be through counseling, Bible study, or proactive self study. One must become diligent in identifying what causes her to make the choices that she makes, getting to the root cause of her behavior, and dealing with childhood emotional wounds.
In my research and counseling, I have encountered many people who have been sexually abused or molested. Often I find that many take on the spirit of the molester by later becoming the abuser themselves, delve into pornography or, people who have been molested by a same-sex abuser often enter into a soul tie with a homosexual spirit. It is called a spirit of transference. In no way am I saying all homosexuals are a result of a spirit of transference, but a majority of those whom I have personally counseled; this has been their testimony. An abused person must do extensive soul searching and Biblical study to identify their true identity–that which God created them to be–to deflect the identity which has been opposed upon them by the devil.
Additionally, a good majority of women who have been abused or molested often turn to prostitution, drug use or promiscuous behavior. They enter into soul ties with spirits of self-hate, hatred towards men, or self-destructive behavior. There have been countless cases of gay and abused men and women who have, through years of earnestly searching for truth, found their true identity in Christ and have broken this demonic stronghold.
But it is not easy! The devil will fight you every step of the way! But know beloved, it is our birth right to freedom in Jesus Christ!
In conclusion, breaking free from soul ties is attainable! Don’t think for one moment you have to stay where you are: in a hopeless, dark and lonely place where it seems like you cannot escape a burdening sin or a demonic stronghold! God is a rescuer! It will take a strong desire and a willingness to want to change, and submittance to God’s will for your life. I am living proof of how God can come in and put the pieces of a broken life back together again and use it for His glory! Amen!
We must be very careful in guarding our spirit and what we open our spirit up to.
(Excerpt from the book: Don’t just breakthrough, BREAK FREE! )